Today I have 5 random thoughts about adoption that won't leave my head. I'm sure I've mentioned them on this blog before, but for various reasons, they are sitting with me again today. Here they are....short and sweet.
1. Adoption is clearly God's "Plan B". Plan A would be that every child grows up in their own family with love, support, encouragement, and provisions. When Plan A fails for whatever reason, Plan B comes into play. I'm thankful Plan B exists. I'm thankful God has called me to be a part of it. Plan B will never be as "easy" or be as "perfect" as Plan A, but it is still completely worth the journey. Everything about the process of adoption is messy, vastly, I believe, because it was never originally meant to be this way.
2. Satan is very much against Plan A and Plan B because both are still being directed by God. He will do everything he can to destroy Plan A. When that happens, and a Plan B is put in place, we can be guaranteed that he is not going to stop his desire for destruction. Plan B is going to be messy because of what I mentioned above, but it will be even more opposed, more broken, more messy because Satan will still be on the attack to destroy it. Plan B is a miracle in the making because of everything against it.
3. Mothering during the adoption process is a very complex and hard position to hold. On one hand you are to begin bonding with your child not yet in your own arms/home and fight for them like a Mama Bear. On the other hand, you have no control over how your child is being raised on a daily basis because you are not the Mama doing those things. It is extremely hard to be both fully Mama and detached from what all God has designed that role to include.
4. You can be completely heartbroken and at a loss on what else to do and fully faith-filled in the same exact moment. It has happened so many times along this journey for me. Feeling both human exhaustion and holy excitement to see God at work despite it all. Knowing you can do nothing else physically, mentally, or humanly, yet knowing the greatest asset is having a spiritual side that trumps them all. A spiritual drive in you that remembers so well "not I, but Christ." Not my glory, but Christ's. Not my will, but God's Will. Not by my hand or plan but by Yours, God. He alone is able. In those moments when all else seems to be failing and your heart is about ready to burst in the pain of it all, God's reign in your inner being rises from those ashes and gives you the strength, the stamina, the courage, the rest, the peace, the ability to see the silver linings, the goodness, and the blessings He gives in the journey. You can find excitement stirring in the same moment as you feel all else is failing. Hope for the hopeless. Healing for the hurt. Movement for the stuck. Families for the orphan. A Father to the little girl who needs to know Someone has her back, Someone loves her deeply, Someone who is working a Master plan of redemption, holiness, and good is still working when all else seems to not be. Miracles in the background just waiting for the perfect moment to take center stage.
5. Photos are pretty much always a good thing during the wait. I was quite surprised when we got these the other day, however! Our last photos of Nora were from Feb. 4th--here was a photo from that time...
One month later, this was what we saw--our beauty with much less hair!
They have shaved her hair to try to promote new growth on the sides of her head since it has gradually been falling out over the past year of her life. Hair or no hair, that smile soothes a weary soul.
May God continue to work this adoption out for the good of His Plan. May He continue to mold me into one who sees life more and more from His perspective. May He hear the desires of my heart and grant them out of His love for His children. May I rest knowing He is always at work in each of us, preparing us all for the day of His return.