Strong Enough...Continued Prayer for Maddie & Nora

Maddie and Nora.  They seem to go hand-in-hand in my thoughts and prayer life these days.  Well, and in these posts too, I suppose.  Here again, I post about both girls with the same prayer in mind for them and for our families...God, would You be strong enough for us all.

So many times in life I've heard the phrase "God won't give you anything you can't handle".  It's a nice phrase that helps you believe you will never be given anything in life that is just too hard.  Something that is not too hard to bear.  However, the problem with this feel-good phrase is that it's not Biblical.  No where in the Bible does it ever say God won't give you something you can't handle.  It's just a human phrase with human hopes behind it...it's not True.  Go ahead, try to find it, it's simply not there.

The fact is, many times in life we are faced with situations that ARE indeed too much for us.  Sickness strikes without warning, death comes, people lie, houses are destroyed, marriages are failed, children are rebellious, drinking claims lives, businesses fail, jobs are lost, and money is hard to come by.  I could go on and on with all the tough stuff in this life.  And if you are a person who has had the fortune of not being effected by any of the above situations then maybe your "tough stuff" is of the mental kind...your fears consume your ability to try something new, shame confines you to your loneliness, anger stirs your actions, abandonment makes you believe you are unlovable.  It's all too much to bear.  Too much to handle.

Thankfully, friends, Scripture does not leave us in our wallowing pit of despair.  It doesn't tell us we can handle whatever comes our way, but it does direct us to the answer in overcoming all of this evil and sadness.  It's a HUGE Truth found in a small little gem of a verse--Philippians 4:13.

" I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."

Did you read that?  It is NOT in our own strength that we get through these hard times, friends, but instead, Scripture calls on us to rely on HIM who gives us strength!   You see, God does allow us to go through situations that are WAY beyond what we can handle.  Way beyond what our own strength can withstand.  Situations where we will not have the answers, we will not have the know-how, we will not have the ability to get through it without one important tool...Him.  Without God coming along on our life journey with us, we will not make it through this life with flying colors.  We need to have God's own mighty power, authority, and strength especially in times when life is just too much to handle on our own.  We are too feeble.  Too weak.  Too human to handle everything that comes our way.  He is the only One who is big enough to handle any and every situation life throws at us.  It is only through Him we can do all things....and He is trustworthy to depend on.

So, with little Nora, I need God to get us through this next year or so until she comes into our home.  On days when it seems things will never end or I will never hear the words I long to hear from Haiti, I need God to gently remind me He is working everything out for Nora's good or I will go insane with the process.  I need God's strength to pick me up and carry me through another day of no word from Haiti.  I need God's authority and power to overcome the process itself and move paperwork safely and quickly through each step.  I NEED Him to be strong enough to overcome my weaknesses so I can make it through this adoption without losing heart.

And with Maddie, they are in dire need of His strength right now.  Maddie is, Amy is, Dan is, and even little Sydney is.  The test results have come back and her new white blood cell count has dropped to 1% now so they have officially said this bone marrow transplant has been unsuccessful.  This is extremely disheartening news for them all (and for us).  They are still waiting on some more test results to come back this week to figure out what the next steps will be.  Maddie's fevers and nauseousness has returned as well so they think she is still fighting the mono virus that seems to have wiped out her new white blood cells in the first place.  They have several options before them at this point...do another transplant right away with the one remaining cord blood donation, wait and do a transplant in a little while, don't do a transplant right now at all, etc.  They, and the doctors, need much wisdom as they weigh all the options and decipher what is the best plan of action for Maddie.  In the midst of wisdom, they also need a big ole dose of God's strength to get them through this because this setback is definitely beyond what they can handle...beyond what their own strength will get them through.  50 days in the hospital with an unsuccessful outcome is just too much.

I believe with all of my heart, however, that our stories do not end with loss and weakness when we give ourselves fully to the Lord.  In those moments, He swoops in, undetected perhaps,  and holds our arms up in battle until victory is won just as He did in the battles of the Old Testament.  He is a GOOD God, friends, even when life is hard.  I believe He intends for Nora to have a family to call her own.  I believe He intends on Maddie to have complete health and abundant life on this earth.  I believe He is still the Miracle-Maker, the Healer, the Daddy God who blesses His children.  It is that God I continue to pray to, plead to, and cry out to on behalf of both our adoption and our niece.  I will not stop believing He will come to our aid, our rescue, our defense.  I will not stop believing He will be strong enough for our journey when it really does get too much for us to handle.

Whenever I hear this song linked below, I think of Maddie, Amy & Dan.  I imagine their tired, weary souls trying to comprehend what may be ahead of them as they look towards more treatment.  In Dan's second post on their care page when this whole ordeal began, he shared, "All three of us cried and talked about how we are scared, sad, mad...and ready to fight! Amy and I are still incredibly stunned. Only the God of the universe will get us through this, because we aren't strong enough to do it without Him."  It is in the thick of things now, some 50 days later from that post, that we all need to remember these words and believe in the Truth behind them.

I also think of a story Dan posted just a few days into their time at the hospital.  He wrote, "I'll close with a conversation that I had with her (Maddie) this morning that really touched me. We were talking about a certain significant gift that someone had given to her and how she was going to receive it later today. While she was trying to guess what it was, I kind of made it sound like it was bigger/cooler than any other gift she had gotten before. To which, she replied, "Oh! Is it Jesus?!" And I said, "Ah, well, OK then, it is the second greatest gift that you could get." And then she said, "Because you know daddy, Jesus is all around this hospital, helping the nurses and doctors get my cancer gone."  Once again, despite my focus on things and details, my daughter manages to teach me about what matters most. May God be glorified in every detail of this journey...even as we hurt and wrestle with unanswered "why" questions."

I can't imagine how daunting it all must feel.  "In their moments of exhaustion, Lord, be the Strength they need You to be for them.  Jesus, be the Gift Maddie needs right now--the Gift of Complete Health.  Continue to do the work in that hospital to get Maddie's cancer gone forever and give her the gift of life on this earth to be that ever-ready testimony of the Strength You have given her.  Be strong enough for each of them, Lord, be strong enough to win this battle.  Lord, would You not only be the Strength Maddie needs, but please also be the Strength we ALL need You to be in whatever our situations are.  Thanks, God.  I know You can and desire to do this.  We trust in You.  Amen."

Maddie Needs Prayer For a "Welcomed Shock"

Well, friends, my heart aches to even type this...we desperately need prayers for our niece, Maddie, right now.  The positive is that she is physically feeling better right now and currently cancer free (yeah).  The negative is that her new white blood cells from the bone marrow transplant did a wonderful job at fighting her undetected subdued mono infection, but unfortunately are not thriving after being used in that battle.  They are not multiplying as they had been so her old white blood cells are regaining ground in her bone marrow.  Below you will find Dan & Amy's latest update from their carepage (found here).  Please read through it and PRAY HARD that her new white cells would start to miraculously multiply so she will not have to go through another bone marrow transplant again and remain cancer free.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for standing in the gap for our niece.  Team Maddie, let's get on our knees!
-----------------------------------

Day +36

Posted 4 hours ago

The last 24 hours are difficult to share and full of contrasts…highs and lows. I’ll start with some news we got this afternoon. Maddie’s test results from this week’s blood test are in and they show that only 5.7% of her bone marrow cells come from the cord blood donor and the rest are her old cells returning. This is a marked drop from last week’s numbers and it puts her right on the border of possible transplant failure. According to our doctors, studies have shown that when that number gets below 5%, there are is no chance of recovery and the process is considered to be officially unsuccessful.

Maddie is scheduled to have another bone marrow procedure done Friday morning, in order to discover a more definitive prognosis. The results from that won’t be in until early next week. If this transplant does not work, there is one last matching cord blood donor that Maddie can use for a second attempt at transplant. This means that Maddie would basically start the whole process over as soon as her body is ready again. The second cord blood matches Maddie slightly less than the first one did. The team is searching the international database to see if any new matches might be found, but nothing has surfaced so far.

In contrast to all of this dire news, the short term issues of Maddie’s health have been improving. Her fevers have been gone for a few days now. She has perked up and felt a lot better recently. Her white blood cell count has been climbing steadily, but this good progress could be coming from old cells inveterating. However, this temporary status has taken care of all known infection in her body for the time being. This allowed for a very important surprise yesterday afternoon. The doctor permitted a one-time 30 minute visit with Sydney in the room! They were not allowed to have much physical contact and they both wore masks, but the time together was magical. They laughed, talked, played and walked around the room together. The effect on Maddie was an infusion of joy and energy. Her sister blabbed on and on about it in the car afterwards, as well, saying, “I see Baddie!” As parents, our hearts experienced the bitter sweet taste of seeing them together for the first time in 40 days, but knowing that this ordeal is far from being over and we simply don’t know how it all will end.

It is a very difficult time right now, because the prospect of transplant failure means the inevitable return of cancer. Yet, at the same time, Maddie physically looks and feels the best that she has been since late May. We are trying our best to not give up hope, but in all honesty, an improved result next week would shock us…a welcome shock, but a shock nevertheless. We are also extremely grateful for the blessings of a sibling visit and less suffering for Maddie these past few days.
Needless to say, we covet your prayers for us.

Some Life Updates...

Seems there is so much going on in my brain right now that the best way to tell you things is to just do an update on various parts of life...

1) Nora

Some of you have asked if there is any update on Nora and if her birth father had come back for her again or not.  I have not said an update thus far because I hadn't had one to give.  I emailed the orphanage director 3 times this week with questions and just hadn't heard anything back.  It's been hard to not know what is going on, but also trusted that no news was good news.  Thankfully our friend, Whitney, got to head to the orphanage yesterday and confirmed for us Nora is still there and the birth father has not come back at all since our director had emailed us.  Praise God!  She also told us the wonderful news that Nora has cut her first bottom teeth--such a small thing in the grand scheme of things, but for a mom who hasn't gotten to see any of Nora's "firsts" this was so special for me to hear.  It's hard knowing I can't do a baby book for Nora because there are so many "normal" things every mom knows that I will never know about her.  The fact I can tell her that on her 9 month b-day, there was this picture taken of her and she had just gotten her two bottom front teeth in is amazing!  When she has her own children one day and wants to compare all these time frames to her own infancy and toddler years, I will be even more grateful for the way God has brought about people to help me know these things for her.  So, without further ado, here is a photo of our baby girl on her 9 month b-day...with two teeth!

 

Thank you, friends, for continuing to pray for Nora (for her protection and safety), for her birth parents as they are now separated (and seems from what I have heard that this is a good thing), and for our process to continue on as miraculous fast as possible.  I want more than anything to get her home soon, but we still have such a huge amount of the process to get through.  Continue to pray for the President of Haiti to sign off on our paperwork so we can keep moving forward.

2)  Maddie

Well, if I would have posted this one day earlier, I would have been able to tell you about the huge praises of Maddie's progress, but now one day later, I feel compelled to ask for your prayers for her instead.  There ARE praises...her white blood cell count has been going up and up and up!  This is huge!  She has been trudging right along with a smile on her face--even in the midst of weakness, fever, nausea, no appetite, cardboard tasting food, and no chance at leaving her hospital room for a whole month.  Her determination to beat this is inspiring.  Her counts had gone up high enough yesterday for the nurses and doctors to take their masks off around her and for her to get a walk (with her own mask on) down the hallway while it was a bit more quiet on the floor.  Huge progress!  However, today, we got an update that things have taken a turn in the wrong direction and they believe her fevers, nausea, and developing cough may be caused by an infection.  Please be praying for her body to be healed in Jesus' Name from this infection so her cell counts can continue to multiply.  They do not have any other confirmations on if this is an infection or what type it is yet, so lets just pray her body rebounds completely and that they will never find one.  She will have a CT scan done within the next day to try to find out more.  Please pray for this to be a minor blip in the radar and not a major hurdle to overcome.

3) Liam

Yes, Liam.  You haven't heard Liam's name on this blog yet, but friends, I'm SO beyond excited to introduce him to you.  Meet Liam Charles...our newest little nephew, born to Charlie and Rachel (Micah's youngest sister) in Topeka, Kansas this past Friday.  Liam was born almost a month early, but I don't think his parents minded much since they have been waiting for him to appear a lot longer than many other parents.  Charlie and Rachel have endured the heartache and long process of fertility issues.  They have been to hell and back again with an IVF that resulted in their very first pregnancy, only to lose the baby early on.  I will never be able to fully understand the heartache they have had to go through as a couple.  They have never given up on their dream and have fought hard for their chance to be called "Mom & Dad".  It is with much joy, many prayers, and tears of thankfulness that we welcome this little miracle man into our family.  Liam, you are worth every ounce of love your parents have put forth to have you join our family and we commit to love you the very best we can.  Charlie & Rach, congrats again and I simply want you to know I have the utmost respect for the strength, commitment, and love you have for each other and for Liam.  Friends, can you even stand how incredibly cute this little guy is already???

I hope and pray all is well with each of your lives and that we can all start this next week off knowing God loves us more than we can even imagine and He is working for the GOOD for each and every one of us.  Praise God!

Three Little Ladies

There are three little ladies I find myself thinking about, praying for, and adoring right now.

Three stunning ladies...

 Lily

Lily--my little girl is growing up!  Yesterday was her 6th birthday.  She's not so much this sweet little baby face anymore is she???  As adorable of a baby Lily was, I have to say I have LOVED watching her grow into this beautiful young girl.  She is stunning.  I am blessed to have a little "Mini Me" in this world.  We not only look a heck of a lot alike but we also have a lot of the same personality.  There is spunk in her, perfectionism, and a deep desire to be noticed and appreciated.  There is drama, emotion, tenderness, and a huge heart to encourage others.  I pray I can now be an example to her of how to embrace and love the person God has made her to be--flaws and all.  She is worth the love.  She is pure.  She is beautiful.  She is not only our daughter, but a daughter of the High King and He loves her with a passion I will never even come close to...a concept I find hard to comprehend since I know how deeply I love her.   Happy and blessed 6th birthday to you, Lily girl.  You are a joy to our family.

Maddie

Madison Joy Pflug.  My sweet niece in the fight of her life this week and next and in the coming months ahead.  Today is her 4th day into her full body, 2x a day radiation treatments which are all getting her body ready for her bone marrow transplant scheduled for this next Tuesday.  She has endured some really yucky days of nausea so far and we are praying for her medicines to kick in here and get her headed in a more positive direction.  Isolation began today.  6-9 weeks of isolation.  Isolation from her little sister, Sydney, as well as the majority of people.  I can't even get my brain to wrap around that feeling.  Dan put this photo out on facebook today and I just wept.  There is something incredibly beautiful and profoundly sad captured in this photo--these girls are meant to live life side-by-side, yet for the next few months that isn't going to be possible.  God, would you grant them each tremendous patience, internet capabilities to make video chats a constant ability, and the assurance that their love and relationship as sisters who have endured separation will be that much stronger and blessed in the future.

Maddie, you are a rock-solid, determined, bald and bold witness of God's unending love.  Your fight against cancer has been amazing to watch.  Your maturity has been an example for all of us to follow. Your determination to continue living life is exactly what I pray we all have when faced with challenges and struggles and battles of our own.  You know Who is on your side and you rest in that fact.  You don't challenge Him, you don't question Him, you don't hold anger against Him.  You simply trust Him to love you, take care of you, draw others towards Him through your witness, and WIN this battle against cancer with you.  I love you, Maddie, and I love the story you are writing with your life.  God has BIG plans for you and I'm excited to watch it all unfold.  I am so proud to be called your aunt, and I'm SO proud to be a part of "Team Maddie"!

Nora

Can I be honest with you?  My heart is aching to hold this little one again soon.  She just turned 9 months old this week and I haven't gotten to see her face to face in 7 of those months.  It's agonizing as a mother. My spirit is aching that all of my children are not yet under one roof.  My sister and I are in such different roads of life right now with her facing Maddie's cancer treatment and I facing our adoption, but there are a few things I feel we can relate to each other about...a great need for patience in ever-changing circumstances, praying for our daughters to have all the abundant blessings of the LIFE God desires them to have, and a deep desire to not have our children scattered in separate living spaces, but to have them all in our arms, in our homes...together.  That is where I find my aching heart this week.  A deep desire to have Nora physically in my arms.

She is growing up before my eyes on a computer screen and I hate that.  I want her to be growing up before my eyes...literally.  Getting pictures of her little bitty knee rolls is wonderful, but being able to pinch them myself would be amazing! : )  I know it's impossible for her to be in my actual home right now, but in my arms is not something completely impossible.  I would love to jump on a plane and head for Haiti to make this happen, but financially, we are trying to be patient and wait for the next required trip.  Each trip gets costly and involves a lot of schedule craziness so it's hard to just throw another unplanned one in the mix.  Our next required trip could literally be months and months away or it could be by the end of summer.  Who knows...well, only the Lord does...and as much as I would rather be the one to know that information, I guess I'm also glad that God is the One who does.  I'm praying so hard for God to hear my aching heart and bring that required trip in His miraculously fast time.  Would you join me in that prayer?  Will you go before the throne with us and continue to plead that God's Good Will and Desire to see Nora with her forever family be given the freedom to be completed?  I know all too well there is a battle raging all around us that only wants to see us defeated, killed, destroyed, and separated from God.  That enemy will not win in my life.  I am determined to protect, defend, and smooth out the way for God's Will to be done.  Especially for our adoption and for Maddie's life right now.

Three little ladies.  Three creations of God I am blessed to be forever tied to.  Three little ladies who have changed my life and have the ability to change so many more--even yours.  They are stunning...don't you agree?

Purple Friday!

If you would know our niece, Maddie,

you would know she loves the color PURPLE!

Maddie's elementary school is celebrating and supporting Maddie this Friday by wearing purple!  How cool is that!  I think it would be wonderful to have that support spread beyond her school walls.  I plan on wearing purple on Friday...won't you join me?!?

What would be even better is to have everyone take pictures of themselves in their purple on Friday so I can send them all up to her!  Having that visual of many, many supporters all in her favorite color would be invaluable as she approaches transplant at the end of the month.

So, your assignment is to wear purple on Friday, take a photo of yourself sporting your support, and then send it to my email: angie_thieszen@hotmail.com or post them on my facebook page "Angie Thieszen"

Thanks everyone!

A Very Happy PURPLE Friday it will be!!!

A Beautiful Day with Maddie

For those of you who follow my niece's caring page (if you don't yet and want to, you can find it here) you will know the Montague/White Hall, Michigan area held a benefit for her and the family this past Sunday night from 6-7:30 p.m. As soon as Dan posted about the event, I looked at Micah and said, "We are going. We can not miss that." But to make attending the event a little more special and fun, we decided to make it a surprise to my sister (Amy), Maddie, and Sydney. I let Dan in on the fun (since we didn't want to come up for the day and potentially tire Maddie out too much if he thought it wouldn't be a good idea) and my folks who were already planning on heading up there. Our kids were so excited to play with Maddie again since they hadn't seen her since Christmas, and Micah and I were excited to be a part of a gathering of many supporters for them.

We arrived just before lunch time, honking away in their driveway. Maddie and Sydney were playing in the yard and looked very confused as to who on earth was making all the commotion. As soon as Micah stepped out of the van, however, confusion turned to a huge smile on Maddie's face followed by a quick run over for a big hug. It was purely delightful to see her excited to have us there. The next moment was my sister coming out of the house with tears streaming down her face and embracing me...again, pure delight to know we could physically come up there and wrap our arms around them. I love surprises!

Much of the afternoon revolved around the older cousins playing together with Easter egg hunts, iPad and Leap Pad games, as well as a restful movie time, while the younger cousins took naps so they wouldn't be grumpy at the benefit. The adults spent the time visiting or taking photos like these of the kids...it was a typical relaxing and enjoyable afternoon.


Then came time for the main event. We all drove over to the high school auditorium to find almost 700 people gathered to celebrate Maddie, worship our God, and pray for healing. It was an amazing turnout!

The evening opened with a slide show of various pictures of Maddie while a family friend sang a beautiful song she wrote specifically for Maddie...I honestly doubt there was a dry eye in the whole place. The evening continued on with a time of worship songs, reflections from two area pastors, heart-felt sharing from Dan, Amy, and Maddie, a free will offering that brought in an overwhelming amount of money for their needs, a tap dancer dancing for the Lord to a praise song, prayers from various pastors, a rep from the bone marrow registry giving directions and encouragement for everyone to sign up, a choir of people singing a last song together, and a cookie reception afterwards in the lobby. It really was so well put together and a blessing to be a part of.



My favorite moment of the evening really came down to my sweet niece's own sharing time at the microphone. This brave, 8 year old fighter took that stage like it was nothing--no nerves, no fears, just a young girl with a message of gratitude and hope for all who were listening. She spoke of the reality of life--the good, the bad, the "bummers", and the blessings. She talked of laughter despite the hard times and the importance of knowing there is a team of people supporting her along those hard times. It was a beautiful, simple, and refreshing way of looking at this ugly reality of going through cancer for the second time in her young life. Those little moments of seeing the silly little Maddie we have loved since the beginning of her life shining through were priceless. There is really no way I can do her speech justice without having you simply listen to it for yourself....

I am so blessed to be a part of a family who loves each other dearly. I am so blessed to have Maddie as an example for my children to look up to and love not only as a cousin, but as a friend. We continue to pray for Maddie's healing...specifically, for a donor to come on the bone marrow list in the next few weeks who would be a 100% match for Maddie's transplant. They have two 90% cord blood donations they can use, but we are praying for God to miraculously bring a 100% match through a donor yet. God is able and we put our trust in Him! Thank you, Maddie, for the example of faith and trust in the God who created you to be just who you are...He loves you, He hears your prayers, and He is good!

Beautiful, Bald and Bold

We Skyped with Maddie on Sunday and we knew from our conversation with her she was starting to lose her hair (although she looked super cute in her long pigtails and bandana while we were on with her). Then we got the message from Dan on their caring page last night explaining she was certainly now bald. I've been crying off and on the last several days at the thought of seeing my beautiful young niece getting weaker and losing her hair. It's something I don't like to face...don't want to face...can never really be prepared to face. It's hard enough for me to see anyone suffering the effects of the fight of cancer, but when it becomes your 8 year old niece in her second battle of this disease, there is an even greater sense of anger and sadness for what this disease, and the treatment for it, takes from a person.

However...

Today, I emailed Amy & Dan and asked if they could send me a picture of Maddie. I wasn't sure why I felt so desperate to see her bald, but I did. Maybe because I just love her so much and wanted to finally face this reality. Somehow, for some reason, I knew I needed to see a picture of her. Once the picture came in, I figured out why God so desperately needed me to see it. This photo has changed my heart and attitude completely.


Instead of seeing a little child who is sick and becoming weaker, I saw before me a beautiful, bald, and bold young woman who is a fighter. Instead of seeing my precious Maddie, who I remember laying eyes on for the first time all wrapped in her blanket like a burrito in the middle of her crib at a few weeks old, seeming sad and defeated, I saw a Maddie with the look of "Cancer, you can't touch me. I am better than you." Instead of seeing what I dreaded, I saw what I aspire to be...a fighter for life...and not just life, but abundant life straight from the God of creation. Instead of seeing sadness, frustration, and anger, I saw joy amidst the pain, determination, and an "onward with life" look in Maddie's eyes.

Maddie is beautiful. Hair or no hair--cancer or no cancer. She is simply beautiful. Inside and out. Period.

Maddie is bald. That is the new reality to her life and even though we may see it first as a symbol of something she has lost unfairly in this life because of cancer, it is also a symbol of what she can beat in this life--the victory over this battle of cancer is hers for the taking...I truly believe that.

Maddie is bold. She has not once shied away from telling others, telling her parents, or telling her doctors that Jesus is behind the doctors and nurses healing her body from cancer. If she is willing to be that bold then why shouldn't we be with her?

^"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." - I Peter 5:10-11

Thank You, God, for Maddie. Thank You for the picture I received today to lift my spirits and give me a refreshed sense of fight in this life. Thank You for Your love and care for Maddie and for Your desire to see her strong, firm, and steadfast. Thank You for Your healing power upon her.

Be The Match

This weekend I decided to try to save a life. Yes, I have a specific life in my mind (our niece, Maddie), but the chances of me saving her life are very slim. However, despite my odds being low for Maddie, I still decided to go for it because ultimately maybe there is another "Maddie" out there I would be matched with. Save a life you may ask??? Yes, I signed up to be a bone marrow donor and that act could very well save another life.

Being put on the bone marrow donor registry was not a decision I quickly came to, however, so I wanted to honestly share my hesitant process in case others out there are struggling and questioning whether they should do this or not.

One would think my decision would be a no-brainer since I know my blood type already matches Maddie's and she needs to have a bone marrow transplant in the next several months, but as much as I wish that was the way it went down in my brain, it didn't. If you know our family well at all, you will already know that I don't do "medical things" well...Micah is clearly the nurse of our family! Occasionally my stomach still churns just taking Micah something at work and he's been a nurse for over 6 years. I've gotten better over the years with things like my kidney infection, 3 natural childbirths, Toby's heart surgery, my gall bladder removed, and Toby's treadmill accident to deal with, but nonetheless I become a big physical mess when I have to deal with bodily fluids or anything medical. So, that was a big hesitation of mine from the get-go. I've never donated blood and get queasy just thinking about it. If you are like me, the idea of donating bone marrow does something violently wrong inside your body.

Because of my physical hesitation, I then justified it by saying, "Well, I'll just wait to see if Sydney is a match first since she'd be the best match possible." That, along with other phrases such as, "Birth relatives have a very low chance of being a match." or "Once you go through childbirth, your body changes so much you are rarely a match for someone. The best match will probably be a mid-aged, fit, male." kept me thinking I probably would never be a match for anyone anyway so what's the big deal? Then my brain would go here to justify my lack of commitment..."How on earth would I make this work with my own kids. Who would take care of them while I was getting this procedure done? I just don't know if this is the best thing to be dealing with right now. We have so much on our plate already with 3 kids and an adoption to be working through." Blah, blah, blah. Basically, my brain and uncomfortable body was searching for any and every phrase I could hear that would justify me to NOT sign up. It's really not anything I WANT to do so being excused by someone would have been great.

However, all the while those thoughts were going through my head, they were also being surrounded by feelings of guilt. Guilt that I was being so selfish. Seriously? Was I really allowing my hesitancy with medical junk to keep me from saving another person's life? Was I allowing my fears to overtake my actions? Flat out answer...yep, I was. The reality of being a bone marrow donor is that if I am a match to someone out there, I will go through a procedure that will probably get my body all worked up for a little while (because that's just me), go through a simple surgery, and have about a 1-3 week lower back pain afterwards...and then I'll be absolutely fine and back to normal. But, then again, would I? I'm now banking on the fact that my "normal" would be so drastically different knowing that I just helped save someone's life. I think, in the end, my sacrifice would far be outweighed by the humbled honor that God gave me the chance to give another precious child of His the chance to run, laugh with friends, eat an ice cream sundae, get married, serve on a mission trip, or just be a daughter or son to a parent who shouldn't have to say goodbye to their child just yet. All that for a potential week or so of discomfort....geeze...

When you have a situation hit home as close as a niece who now needs SOMEONE, ANYONE to donate bone marrow in order to survive, it makes the desperation of the situation very real. For those of you who haven't heard, Sydney (Maddie's 2 year old sister) is not a match. Maddie's own immediate family can not save her...but someone can. Maybe, on a crazy whim, I would be the one who can...or maybe it is you. And maybe I won't be a match for Maddie--maybe you won't be a match for Maddie--but maybe you and I will both be a match for two other people who will be able to grace this Earth for some priceless moments more. If I know my niece at all, I think she would be so excited and happy to know that because of her needing a bone marrow transplant, many people would sign up to be on the donor list and end up saving many other fellow fighters for life.


So, if you are ready to sign up and help save a life, the next step is so incredibly simple. Go to the National Bone Marrow Donor Registry website called "Be the Match": http://marrow.org/Home.aspx. Once on the page, you can do one of two things--1) See if there is a blood center near you to walk in and give your sample (just a cheek swab--no blood work needed) or 2) if there is not a center near you, then you can have them send you the kit in the mail to do the cheek swab and then send it back to them right away. There is no cost to you (although you can make a contribution because it does actually take $100 per kit to process). You will be put on the donor list once they process your kit. It's seriously that simple.

This is the very list Maddie's transplant team is scouring every week hoping to eventually come up with an exact match for her. This is the very list that 10,000 others just like Maddie are waiting on a match from. Did you know on their website they claim that only half of those people needing life actually get it from a donor? That is a percentage we can greatly increase, folks.

I ask of you today, as the aunt of one who needs it and as a person who probably hesitated just like you have been doing, will you join me in my decision to try to save a life today? No, it's not ideal for any of us who might be called to donate, but what a tremendous blessing to actually be asked to do it. It will change their life and it will change yours. Life truly is priceless...here is a girl who needs it...

"Light in a messenger's eyes brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones."
-Proverbs 15:30

A Giving Heart

I am continually amazed at my daughter, Lily. She is hands-down one of the biggest givers I know. No, she doesn't have millions of dollars to donate or the ability to work for some big mission organization (she's 5 1/2 years old for heavens sake), but whatever that girl does have...she gives.

I've seen her draw smiley faces on tiny pieces of paper and give them out to a grieving family she doesn't know at a viewing in order to try to give them a smile while they were sad. I've seen her take her birthday money and put it in the offering at church. I've seen her give her toys to other little girls. I've seen countless numbers of colored pictures and cards walk out the door of our house for the librarian. I've seen snacks shared with her brothers. I've seen her wrap up 4 of her stuffed animals for Micah and I to open at Christmas so we would have stuffed animal friends to sleep with (since she noticed we don't have any). I've seen her collect a ton of toys to give to the bus heading to Haiti so the kids didn't have to play with toys made out of trash. I've even seen her offer her beloved "Lammie" blanket she has had since birth to us to take to Nora as a comfort blanket while she can't be with us. The list could go on and on and on. Lily is no doubt--a giver.

I was blessed to watch the latest example of her giving spirit yesterday. Lily has been growing her hair out for Locks of Love for a long time now. It has gotten very long, but we kept it growing thinking she would want to wait until the weather warmed up before cutting it off. Two days ago, however, she came to me and asked if we could measure her ponytail again to see if it was long enough to cut (it had to be at least 10 inches long). I said we could and we measured...yep, long enough. She proceeded to say, "Okay, good, Mom, let's cut it right now! I'm ready and I want to cut it right now." Well, this was at 8:15 p.m. and I was certainly not going to be the one to hack off 10-12 inches of hair so I told her we would have to wait until we could make an appointment at the hairdresser's. She got a very sad look on her face and said, "No, Mom, I want to do it now." I inquired further why she needed it done that moment and she explained..."Maddie's going to be losing her hair this week and I want to cut mine right now so I can put it in a wig for her to have hair. It would be perfect, Mom, cause my hair is the exact color as Maddie's and she's going to need hair!"

Wow. I was smiling and crying all at the same time. I was proud and humbled and blessed. My 5 1/2 year old daughter has a heart as big as the ocean and when she knows what she wants to do, there isn't a whole lot stopping her. Well, we didn't cut it right then, but I made the appointment for her yesterday and we did indeed make that giving heart full as she cut off those long locks for love. No one would have been able to wipe the smile off of her face and I'm pretty sure I haven't seen it off of her yet. She was so excited to donate it and have a whole new look for herself at the same time. She is truly beautiful inside and out. Maddie won't actually get Lily's hair for a wig and Lily knows that now, but she was still excited to give it for another little girl who needs it. The point is not who got her hair, but that she was so freely willing to give it. Such a beautiful thing to witness...


Today is a new day and with that, her big, giving heart continues on as normal. This morning she came out to me in the kitchen with her new hair cut, huge smile, and a penny in her hand. "Mom?" she asked. "Yep, honey?" I replied. She continued, "Mom, I was wondering if you could use this money to help bring Nora home." Again, with a smile and tears, I answered, "Yep, Lily, I sure can. Thank you for being willing to give your money to help bring Nora home. That's so sweet of you." Seriously...cut your hair off one day, give a penny the next day...what will tomorrow bring?

One more hair donation, folks, that's how it works for a little bald-headed beauty to become Rapunzel. One more penny to the pot, folks, that's how it works to get Nora home. (and let me just say that's not the first penny Lily has put towards her sister's homecoming either). Every day is a chance to give to someone else and I'm so grateful my daughter "get's it". She gets the concept that nothing is really truly ours anyway--it's on loan to us from the Lord and when He says "give it to someone" she answers that calling with a big ole' grin on her face. It's truly priceless.


Lily, my dear, you inspire me, you bless me, and you bless the Father with your willing and giving spirit. With you, He will be able to touch the lives of many. Thank you for being...well...exactly who God has made you to be. I love you.

Onward with Life--An Update on Nora & Maddie

Life is so unpredictable, isn't it. You are cruising along at a good pace and then something slows you down for a little while on a few curves, or worse yet, something completely haults you with a red light. Eventually, the green light apears again, however, and you simply have to keep going onward with life or you are bound to have a rear-end collision. That's sort of what I feel like our life is like right now. Our adoption of Nora seems to be on a curve that has slowed us down and the re-diagnosis of our niece's cancer this past week has sort of felt like a big red light. Let me give you an update on both...

First of all, Nora. Our baby girl actually turned 4 months old TODAY!!! Yeah! She is doing so well in Haiti. She is eating almost too well right now (smile) and seems to love sitting outside in the sunshine. Rachel says Nora enjoys watching the other children play there. From what I hear, one of the little boys also loved to stop playing, run over and kiss her all over her head, and then go back to playing--so cute. Giselle, Nora's older sister who turns 2 this month, also found out she could feed Nora a bottle! Rachel said it was so adorable to watch her and she wished she would have had her camera there to take a picture of it for me (me too!). Two of the boys in the orphanage got to fly home to their forever families over the past two weeks and I'm sure as overjoyed as we all are to have them in their homes, their buddies back at the orphanage are missing them too. It's remarkable how much of a "family" these children become while living together at ROH. Likewise, all of us adoptive moms have also become a "family" of our own while sharing stories, photos, and prayers for each other and each others' kiddos during this process. I would be lost without them.

(Here is Nora with Christopher patting her head)

Speaking of the process...that's the curve that has s.l.o.w.e.d. us down in life right now. According to our ticker, we are 6 months, 3 weeks, and 3 days into our process. Oh how I wish that meant we were that far into our 1-2 year wait, but sadly, THAT part of the process still hasn't begun. Our 1-2 year wait does not start until our paperwork enters IBESR (Haitian Social Services) and we are still waiting to hear the word from Rachel that has happened...we're waiting for that green light in our life here. Our paperwork is done, Nora's paperwork is done, but we are waiting still for Nora's paperwork to be legalized so it is ready to go to IBESR. We were hoping this would have happened about a month ago, but we are still waiting....and yes, it's frustrating. This is the line you will probably begin to hear a lot on this blog--"we are still waiting, and yes, it's frustrating". There is nothing we can do to make this time go faster, however, so we just continue to wait. One of these days we will get the email with our IBESR number in it and the journey will continue on...that will be a great day!

Some of you have asked what the results of the meetings in Haiti are that I had you praying for in the posts here and here. Well, it's still a bit of a mystery really. I guess what we (meaning parents who are adopting Haitian children) were being told was one meeting ended up being three different meetings, which is why there were so many confusions as to what day this "meeting" was supposed to happen. Unfortunately, Rachel never made it to any of the meetings because she was held up at other meetings getting paperwork for one of the boys going home (which was a good thing). From what I gather from other Haitian newspaper articles and another orphanage director's blog, there were good things that came to pass because of the meeting, but there was much still left up in the air too. I have passed both reference articles on to Rachel, but have yet to hear back if she had any answers to how these would all effect our adoption. There is potential that our time in IBESR would be drastically reduced, which is awesome, but there is also potential that we may have to end up finding a US adoption agency to work with in order to proceed with our adoption, which would be both good and frustrating because it would end up costing us more than we originally thought. All that to say, we really don't know anything...so we are....still waiting, and yes, it's frustrating. (Notice a theme here???)

For the time being, continue to pray for Nora's protection, for our paperwork to receive the signatures it needs, for us to enter IBESR now--or even yesterday would be great, and for our process to begin to get around the "curve" and on the straight road again. We have been TOTALLY blessed by some recent photos of Nora though so we want to pass those along to you...her smiles continue to brighten our days.


So, that is Nora, now on to Maddie. Well, if you have been following Amy & Dan's care page (http://www.carepages.com/carepages/MadisonPflug), not much of this will be new, but if you haven't, then let me give you the quick summary.

The steroids Maddie have been on this week broke down the tumors on her lymph nodes very quickly which was awesome, but also sent her kidneys into overdrive so she was put on a kidney dialysis machine to help the kidneys catch back up. She was supposed to be on that for 24 hours but since her body was reacting so well to the dialysis (another awesome), she was back off of the dialysis under the 24 hour mark. Overall, her body has simply responded profoundly well to the steroids and the dialysis...thank God! I truly believe the prayers being lifted on behalf of them all from around the world are working right in line with these medicines.

Maddie had a great weekend of rest and feeling pretty good. We were able to Skype with her yesterday which was great for all of us since we haven't had the chance to head up there yet.


Here is a photo of Maddie being silly on the Skype call...you can tell she was feeling her normal self when you see photos like this.


These other two photos were taken by my dad at the hospital while Maddie's sister, Sydney was visiting her on Sunday. The two of them were having too much fun moving the bed with the remote control...you can just tell that Maddie loves her sister very much and likewise, Sydney loves Maddie too!


These are precious photos in the midst of a very trying time. Like my brother-in-law typed on their care page--this is the calm before the storm. And, unfortunately, the storm begins tonight. I talked with my sister this morning briefly and they will begin chemo tonight. There is a chance they will be heading home from the hospital mid-week with the chemo treatments happening more as an outpatient or occasional overnight-two night stay instead of having to be inpatient. If that happens, she will head back to the hospital next week to have the port put back into her chest to help all future iv sticks. It is good to know Maddie will be able to have the comforts of home while going through chemo, but it also boosts up their travel times as it is a 1 hour drive one way to the hospital from their current home in MI. Please pray that travel safety will abound!

The bone marrow transplant is tentatively on the docket for three months from now. Sydney, Amy, and Dan's blood work is currently being tested to see if any of them are a match and if Sydney is a match then she would be the best match possible. They would then determine if she was big enough to donate and if she is not (or if none of them match) then the search will continue on to the larger pool of people internationally. Micah has recently signed up to be a donor hoping to be a match for Maddie--or someone else who needs it! If you have the desire to also help another patient desperately needing their life saved, please go to this website (http://marrow.org/Join/Join_the_Registry.aspx) and learn more of what you need to do to be a donor.

To close, here is a little video of part of our Skype call with Maddie. I think it's just good for everyone to be able to see her in action, hear her voice, and connect with her beyond her name or a photo. We are asking for everyone to be in prayer for God to heal her body from this cancer and glorify His name because of that healing! Another little segment from Dan's care page post has not left my brain or heart for a minute since he posted it. I will share it here because it was incredibly uplifting and encouraging to my own prayer time. I think sometimes, as adults, we just doubt God's power and goodness too much. If Maddie can see Jesus at work around her, then we need to be praying for that work to continue! Here is that part of his post:

"I'll close with a conversation that I had with her (Maddie) this morning that really touched me. We were talking about a certain significant gift (an IPad) that someone had given to her and how she was going to receive it later today. While she was trying to guess what it was, I kind of made it sound like it was bigger/cooler than any other gift she had gotten before. To which, she replied, "Oh! Is it Jesus?!" And I said, "Ah, well, OK then, it is the second greatest gift that you could get." And then she said, "Because you know daddy, Jesus is all around this hospital, helping the nurses and doctors get my cancer gone."



Blessings to each of you, and thank you for your prayers on our behalf for our adoption of Nora and for Maddie as she enters, yet again, a battle for her life. Onward we go...

God is Bigger than 20%

We desperately need people to go before the Throne on Maddie's behalf. I'm pleading...

Here is an updated post from my brother-in-law off of their care page for my niece, Madison. PLEASE be pleading with us to a God who is bigger than 20% right now and if you have access to any other prayer chains of any kind, please pass this along. We want God to see that we are all willing to fall at His Throne on behalf of Maddie. We need a miracle and God has plenty of those to give. Please continue to follow their journey, get specific prayer requests, updates, and photos of Maddie on their care page. You will need to set up an account, but it is free and very simple to set up.

Here is the link: http://www.carepages.com/carepages/MadisonPflug

-------------------

Full Diagnosis and Treatment Plan

Posted 13 hours ago

Wow, this is going to be hard to type, but here we go:

Maddie has T-Cell Lymphoma, the same kind of cancer that she had before. The difference this time is that they found it throughout the bone marrow. That means the cancer is more advanced and will require a successful bone marrow transplant in order for her to have even a small chance of being cured.

Here are the stats: less than 20% of transplant patients who go into remission and then regress (like Maddie, today) are ever cured of the disease and go on to live a semi-normal life. The other 80% are equally distributed among those who fight the disease either for a short time, medium time or repeatedly until they all lose the battle.

The most important step today is her breathing. It is restricted by her tumors and could pose an early problem for treatment. Steroids (Prednisone)are the first line of attack and she has been taking them all day today (1/24). We will know how effective this is within a day or two. If they are not effective in reducing the tumors and helping her breathe, then they will take much more aggressive chemotherapy measures.

If her overall treatment leads to significant success against the cancer, then they will begin the process of finding a bone marrow transplant match after one month, and consider doing the procedure, if a good enough match is found, after 3 months.

The scary part is that the most likely match for Maddie is a sibling. They will take the next few weeks determining whether Sydney is large enough and old enough to be considered a match. If she is not a match, then we go into the lottery to find a match from a stranger(s). Again, IF the steroid/chemotherapy goes well enough AND a good donor match is found, AND the transplant procedure is successful - THEN she gets that 20% chance of a full recovery.

We were given entirely better "odds" the first time around when she went through this at age 2. But we all know that numbers do not tell the whole story. The important thing to take from my ramblings is that we have a huge fight ahead of us: a fight that we will engage by faith, through prayer and dependence on Christ. Please join us in praying for strength, courage and hope.

Maddie knows the summary of things - which is that cancer is back and she will need to be brave in many ways for many days. It was one of the hardest moments of my life to sit there and explain the truth to her today. All three of us cried and talked about how we are scared, sad, mad...and ready to fight! Amy and I are still incredibly stunned. Only the God of the universe will get us through this, because we aren't strong enough to do it without Him.

In closing, the staff here have been great. Amy and I are physically well and we are overwhelmed with the support and prayers from all of you. Maddie is being showered with attention, presents and praise (which she so graciously accepts with a big smile). We are still in the ICU, but some visitors are allowed and welcome between 11AM - 9PM above the age of 16. The doctors anticipate this particular hospital stay lasting at least a couple of weeks.

I promise that I will not be so long-winded in future updates...probably.

Thanks again to all of you. We love you, dearly!

Dan

---------------------

Thank you for your support and prayers. Personally, Micah & I also want to ask for others to please be praying for my sister, Amy & her husband, Dan and their other daughter, Sydney (age 2). We are praying for the Truth of God to be bolstered up in them and that the Truth will squelch any lies Satan is trying to burden them with.

Dan and Amy also are currently both unemployed. Dan had recently made a decision to make a job change from a pastorship role in Michigan and had been working at a factory while they waited for his next role in ministry, but was laid off just before Christmas, while Amy is a stay-at-home mom. Maddie is covered by Medicare so her health expenses will be taken care of, however, the gas money, life expenses, and food costs could become an added burden they don't need at this time with no income. If you feel led, I am sure they would appreciate and be blessed by any monetary gifts we could send their way.

If you want to send them a card, gift, or monetary gift of support (checks made out to Dan & Amy Pflug), please mail them to:

Madison Pflug

c/o Helen DeVos Children's Hospital

100 Michigan Street NE

Grand Rapids, Michigan 49503

Thank you,

Angie & Micah Thieszen

The Rawness of Life

This post probably won't be anything that sounds "nice" or "put together"...it will simply be raw.

If you remember back a few posts, I talked about how cancer can bring life (read it here if you haven't had the chance)...well, cancer also sucks.

(Maddie at this past Christmas)

My beautiful 8 year old niece, Madison, whom is talked about in that post has been in remission from her victory over cancer since 2008. She was 2 1/2 years old when she was originally diagnosed. Well, as of last night, they discovered her cancer is back. Cancer sucks.

She had been fighting a cold and when the antibiotics weren't cutting it, my sister (Amy) and her husband (Dan) took Maddie back in to see what else to do. While there, the doctor felt some lumps in Maddie's neck and immediately sent them on to Grand Rapids Children's Hospital for further testing...the suspicion at the time was that the cancer was back. That was horrifically confirmed later last evening. They are still waiting to hear results from the tests to see if this is the same type of Lymphoma she had earlier (T Cell Lymphoblastic Lymphoma) or if this is a different form. They are also waiting to hear what the treatment plan will be this round. They have been told it will probably be much of the same as last time--steroids, chemos, and potential surgeries. Cancer sucks.

(Maddie, last evening at the hospital)

Maddie, however, is amazing. She has fought this battle before and won victoriously. She is older now and has a much better awareness of what is going on (which is both good and bad probably). I have no doubt she will fight once again and be victorious. She faithfully trusts in God and that faith will see her though many hard days ahead...unless...God would answer the prayers of His people and heal her completely right now and spare her the experience she shouldn't have to go through again. The experience she shouldn't have ever had to go through in the first place at 2 1/2 years old.

Please pray for Maddie. Please pray for her body to be miraculously healed by the Almighty Healer. Please pray for peace and rest and strength for both Maddie and Amy and Dan as they try to make decisions for her best care, handle all the roller coaster of emotions this journey brings, as well as also care for their other daughter, Sydney, who is age 2. Pray for their own faiths to be bolstered with the love, support, and prayers of their friends, family, and strangers alike. Pray for God to break through all of our hurt, questions, anger, and sadness and bring the strength, joy, and peace only He can bring.

(Amy & Dan at this past Christmas)

Please also pray for us as her family. Pray for wisdom to know how to best support her and love on her during the hard days. Micah and I were a bit more "removed" from her last round of cancer because they were out in St. Louis and then in Cincinnati for that time frame. We also were just a month out from birthing Lily so we had to somewhat emotionally disconnect ourselves from what all was happening in order to finish our pregnancy okay and welcome our first newborn into our midst. It was very hard to do that last time and we certainly wished we could have been a better support, but this time we hopefully can. This time around we are just a few hours from them and our lives are intricately connected as our kids (especially Lily) consider Maddie not only their cousin, but also their best friend. We are all still in shock from the news and just wish this was a nightmare we could all wake up from. A child is NOT supposed to get cancer....a child is certainly NOT supposed to get cancer twice.

(All the cousins together at this Christmas--
Tobias, Maddie, Sydney, Lily, & Quinn)

Life is tough. A fallen world is our current home. A God too BIG for us to understand is over it all and we have to trust in Him to come to Maddie's aid when that fallen world--that tough life--hits way too close to home. Will you rise up today and pray on behalf of an innocent, sweet, brave, and victorious 8 year old girl? I hope your answer is yes, because you know what? Cancer sucks...and we serve a God who can beat it.

Please follow Maddie's journey on their care page at the hospital. You will be able to get the most current information, specific prayer requests, updated photos, and background there. The link is: http://www.carepages.com/carepages/MadisonPflug

Thank you for praying.