Partly Cloudy

Yesterday was a day when MOI and the other Haitian government offices re-opened after a few day closing to celebrate their Carnival of Flowers.  Our papers have been in MOI now for 13 weeks and we are ready for them to come out.  A little over 3 weeks ago our director said the one spelling correction had been made and it should be soon that she would have the papers in her hands ready to deliver them on to the next department...passports.  However, we also know that "soon" in Haiti can mean anything from a little while longer that day to a month or more down the road.  We also know it has taken others a good month to get their papers out of MOI after corrections have been turned in, so we weren't holding our breaths for it to be a quick turn-around.  Anyway, with the re-opening of MOI yesterday, we had hopes that our director would go and find our paperwork ready for pick up.

Micah and I prayed for God to miraculously make it so, knowing that a miracle would about be what needed to happen.  I woke up yesterday excited to see what all God was going to do and expectant of seeing goodness prevail.  I never heard a thing throughout the day, but didn't think anything of it because much of our director's days are completely filled with running around making things happen.  Then came evening and still nothing.  Around 9 p.m. a beautiful post came across my facebook homepage...a dear friend and fellow ROH adoptive Mama had gotten her email from our director--their second child's papers were out of MOI.  My heart leapt with joy for her and with hopes for an email to be in my inbox.  I checked and...still nothing.  I had tears of joy anyway for my friend and still a glimmer of hope that if our director had just emailed her then maybe ours will still be coming.  Then another beautiful post came across my facebook feed...another friend and fellow ROH adoptive Mama had also gotten her email...their paperwork was also out of MOI.  Oh did the tears stream down my cheeks for them.  They have been waiting so very long to bring their son home.  One step closer for them.  So, so, so happy.  Then in a matter of 5 more minutes, two more adoptive Mamas from a different orphanage spread the news on facebook of their papers also being out of MOI.  Oh my word!  I was so excited for all of them and yet...well, still staring at my own empty inbox.  So, so happy for them and yet so sad and deflated for ourselves.

The mix bag of emotions...so thrilled and overjoyed for our friends and yet so heartbroken for ourselves.  Happy and sad all at the same time.  I told Micah through my tears just before going to bed that I'm just tired of living these moments.  So tired of feeling like I have to be both happy and sad at the same time.  His reply was simple...don't.  Stop trying to feel both at once.  Be completely happy for them and then change and be completely sad for ourselves.  Don't try to experience them both at the same time.  That's probably good advice.  Grieve hard and joy like there is no tomorrow.  So, last night I cried myself to sleep as my man prayed for us both...my tears were the only prayers I could muster.  It was just one of those nights.

Through the night I had a dream.  A weird dream (although Micah says all my dreams are weird).  I was waiting in a waiting room to see a doctor about a sore throat, but all these people just kept coming in and getting to go see the doctor while I just continued to wait.  I didn't know why on earth I wasn't being called to go back.  I went up to the receptionist again and she said I'd have to see a different doctor at this point and to go back and sit down and just wait for them to call me.  So I did...all day long.  I remember looking at the clock and it was 4:15 p.m. and I knew the doctor's office closed at 4 p.m.  I couldn't believe it--they forgot me.  I went back up to the window and the receptionist didn't know why on earth they had somehow missed me.  So she walked back to the doctor and told her I was still waiting.  Finally!  She came to greet me in the lobby area and instead of taking me back to see my sore throat she asked if she could show me a book in the lobby.  What?  Before I could even answer her, she sat down with this coffee table style book of different famous paintings.  She began to tell me about the paintings, which ones were her favorite, and why.  I was getting annoyed by this point and was trying to be courteous, but yet also wanted her to know this was not why I was here.  Then she gently grabbed my hand and had me point to a particular painting of a woman kneeling by a lake.  It was painted in an impressionist's style of painting, very broad with not much details.  For example, the woman didn't have a face and the water line she was sitting at was very blurry.  As she had me point to this woman, she said these words to me, "Do you see this painting of this woman?  Isn't it beautiful?"  I agreed it was a pretty painting.  Then she added, "I think this is the most lovely because even though we don't see all the details of the scene or the details of the woman, we still find it beautiful."  And with that I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock telling me it was time to go for my morning walk.

I took off on my walk, listening to my "Adoption playlist" music and mulled over the dream, the no-news for us the night before, the celebrations of my friends, the way my eyes were still hurting from the tears and I just couldn't make sense of it all.  I prayed for God to just get me out of this funk.  I prayed for either the grief to be full-blown like Micah had talked about so I could just move on or for the joy of all He has given to me and to others to just blot out the disappointment.  It didn't happen.  I just walked on in silent mixed-emotions.  Towards the end of my walk I was nearing home and the sun began to peek out of the foggy, cloudy sky.  It was pretty for the moment it was there and then it vanished again behind the gray.  The thought popped into my head like any normal thought, "It's going to be a partly cloudy day today."  With that, the Lord instantly spoke to my heart...

"Yep, Angie, partly cloudy.  It's a pretty normal type of day weather-wise, nothing is wrong with partly cloudy.  Some days are sunny, some days are cloudy, some are partly sunny and some are partly cloudy.  Today, it's okay for yours to be partly cloudy.  Think of it like this: some days are full of joy and wonderful things (sunny), some days are full of sadness and disappointment (cloudy), some days have a little of both but the joy is more prominent (partly sunny) and some days are a little of both with the sadness being more prominent (partly cloudy).  Today, even though you wish it was all the way sunny or even all the way cloudy, I'm giving you partly cloudy.  It's a mix, and it's still good, because it's still something I've created.  Remember, though, it's PARTLY cloudy and although you didn't get the news you were hoping for that would make today full sun, I'm still capable of sending some bits of sunlight that will pierce through the clouds."

Can I just say I love it when the Lord speaks.  When I just take those moments to reflect and think and be open to all He has to tell me.  With that in mind, I began to think about my dream again.  Those words the doctor had spoken to me in my agitated moments of having waited and waited and waited all day long to see her...what were they again?  "I think this is the most lovely because even though we don't see all the details of the scene or the details of the woman, we still find it beautiful."  Yes.  Yes, this was not just a random, weird dream.  It was sunlight for me to see on a partly cloudy day.  Even though I don't know all the details of this adoption nor can even understand all of the emotions I experience along the way or what all God is doing behind the curtain I can't see through, it is still a beautiful thing...a beautiful work of art created by God Himself for others to see and find beautiful.  The beauty isn't in all the details, but in the broader picture itself.  That was a peek of sunlight through the clouds I thanked God for on my way into my house.

And just when you think the "lesson" is learned or the story of the day is done, God sends another unexpected ray of Sonshine.  I grabbed myself a bowl of cereal once inside from my walk and sat down at the computer like I normally do to check my email and facebook while I eat.  I opened my inbox to find the most beautiful email from Mary, the physical therapist working at ROH for 6 months.  Included in this email were 10 amazing photos of our little one with this blessed message for us to read...

"I took some time with Nora and gave her all the pictures and the drawings. Just look at her face! She is so intrigued! I DID NOT POSE HER FOR THESE! She sat with the items you sent for almost 20 minutes without moving---she just sat and looked, and sorted through each page Angie. It was so beautiful...it almost made me cry. Then, I thought, "self, what are you going to do with these things so they don't get torn up amongst everyone??" Then, God totally laid it on my heart to....hang everything above her bed! I have attached a picture...I hung all of her stuff above her bed---so she has a safe spot where she can continue to imprint your faces upon her heart and mind."

 

  

Oh, my heart.  What a ray of Sonshine for my day.  It actually might have turned my partly cloudy day into a partly sunny one.  And that, my friends, is my God.  He is not just a God who gives us good things...He is a God who loves us deeply and will do anything He can to show us that love.

And for one other little ray of sunniness for the day...look at that last photo.  Do you notice the flower stem painted on the wall right beside Nora's bed?  Well, guess what?  Last week I was hard at work re-painting Lily and Nora's room and getting it all set up for Nora to join us.  Lily and I worked together to figure out what all to paint on the walls and we decided on flowers with some butterflies and ladybugs.  So, I painted it all, had Micah get the crib put together, pulled out all the clothes we have been given for Nora and filled her dresser with them.  I am always trying to think of how to make Nora's transition from life at the orphanage to life at our home better/easier for her, but God did this one for us without us even knowing.  Look at what I painted right at the side of Nora's crib...flowers, like she has in Haiti.

Thank You, God, for Your rays of light and goodness even when we see a lot of clouds from our side of things.  Thank You for making this life beautiful even when I don't know all the details.  Thank You for always being present with me in life--on walks, in dreams, and while I'm checking my email.  I know and trust that soon You will have another email sent my way that will definitely give me a fully sunny day!

This Gift

"A gift opens the way
    and ushers the giver into the presence of the great."

~Proverbs 18:16

I've been struck lately by so many things that seem to be gifts to me.  Gifts God has blessed me with.  Three in particular right now I wanted to briefly share with you.

1. The gift of God's Presence.  The month of May was really hard for me.  I was so focused on the frustrations of the process of adoption I was forgetting to be blessed during the process.  Out of much pain I chose to do some things God was encouraging me begging me to do in order to follow Him and receive the gift He had for me.  Let me be clear that following God in that moment was the last thing I really wanted to do because I knew it meant sacrificing some very precious things personally--sacrificing what I had deemed "right".  However, I wanted to follow Him because I have grown so incredibly much in my faith and trust in who God is and knew He would help me do what He was asking of me.  After the pain of the sacrifice wore off a bit, I found myself in the Presence of God's grace, mercy, love, peace, and joy once again.  Not just the way I had been in the past, but in an even more illuminated way.  I can not describe the amount of peace and joy I have in my heart right now.  Following Him, even when it hurts to the 100th degree, truly is a gift if you are willing to go through the pain of the sacrifice to gain the Presence of the Lord like you have never experienced before.  A priceless gift indeed.

2. The gift of God's "best".  One thing I've struggled with along this journey is not really knowing about Nora's day-to-day life and developing personality.  It is hard to know others get to experience her every day while I wait to know anything of significance.  Our director is an amazing woman who cares deeply for these children.  She and the nannies meet their needs the absolute best they can and their efforts are helping to make Nora an extremely well-adjusted little lady.  I'm so blessed by their care for her.  The "down-side" (if I have to call it something) to the amazing care Nora receives is that it there is not much time for emailing us and letting us know what all is happening with our sweet little girl.  When our director is not hands-on with the children, she is busy, busy, busy working on the process of paperwork for all the families.  She just doesn't have spare moments to gush out news for us.  As much as I understand this, it doesn't mean this hasn't still been hard to accept.  Being independent in our adoption (without an agency rep to fill us in regularly on Nora), we just miss out on regular doses of information.

One of the things God was asking of me recently was to give up the hope that our director would finally find a moment to spare and tell us about Nora.  He was specifically asking me to allow her to do what she does best--be the orphanage director, not what I was still wishing for--her to also be the "agency rep" for us.  Allowing her to focus more on what I know she is amazing at, frees me from expecting too much from her.  Instead, God also asked me to write down any questions I would normally want to ask of our director, and ask them instead of Him.  I had no idea how, but I felt He was reassuring me that somehow, in His way, He would answer those questions or give me a peace that would have never come before.  This was HARD for me to do!  However, friends, God is so amazing and has done just as He said He would!  He has certainly given me peace and even answers to my questions in such a unique and unexpected way.  He is so cool!  Recently the orphanage was blessed by the presence of an American pediatric physical therapist named Mary for 6 months.  While reading through her website and blog about her time in Haiti, I was able to find a way to contact her personally.  I wanted to thank her for serving Nora and the rest of the crew there and tell her we value her expertise she was willing to extend to these precious kids.  In response, she has been able to give us the most detailed report to date on what Nora is like and her day consists of.  It was a priceless gift.  God used this precious woman to answer my questions.  Not only that, but He used her to pass along beautiful photos of our baby girl and a video as well, which we have not yet figured out how to play, but just knowing she sent it was a gift in and of itself.  I'm so in love with the Lord--when I place my trust in Him, He not only delivers what I hoped for, He goes so far beyond my wildest imagination and gifts me with His "best" instead.  Oh how humbly I accept His love for me.

3.  The gift of Nora.  How can I not be thankful for the gift she is already in my life?  Just look at these precious photos of her.  Her inner beauty radiates out of those eyes and gifts anyone who sees her.

As I have released so much of my frustrations to the Lord, the joy of receiving the gift of Nora has returned 10 fold.  I have been able to focus on how excited I am for her to enter our family.  To dream about the ways she is going to enhance our home and family in ways I can only imagine.  To thank God for the gift she is already and will continue to be to my life.  I am beyond ready to hold her daily, show her love, guide her in knowing more of the Lord, and watch her grow and blossom into what God has created her to be.  Nora is such a gift to me and I thank God for her every day.

The other night, Micah and I were watching the movie "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" and the song during the credits captured my heart.  I knew instantly it was the song of Nora's homecoming for me.  It is the song that will guide me through these last few months until she is in my arms.  And wouldn't you know, God has used a song that is literally entitled "This Gift".  Really, things like this should not surprise me at this point in my relationship with Him, but still...how amazing is that!  I'll let you take a listen and be blessed as well as we go through these last several months together...

So, as far as the process, if you haven't heard the news yet, our papers in MOI had just one tiny little spelling error in Nora's birth mom's name, so that has been sent back for correction and hopefully soon we will be moving on to passports.  At this point in the process we know "soon" needs to be held loosely.  It could easily still be another month before leaving MOI, which is all the more reason to pray for those papers to move as fast as God can make them.  Passports should just take a week or so at most and then we will move forward to the US side of the adoption process.  The US Embassy will issue Nora a visa and this has been taking approximately 4-8 weeks recently.  Our newest extension deadline for our visa approval is October 4th.  When I told our director that date she seemed to think we would not need another extension for it because Nora should be home before then.  Our hopes and prayers are focused on getting her home before September 30th, her 2nd birthday.  We want desperately to celebrate that birthday together as a family and we also (selfishly) want to get her home before she turns 2 because we would not have to pay for her flight if we can do that.  The financial strain is potentially coming with the extended time this adoption has taken beyond what we originally thought it would take.  Saving any money in the end would also be a gift!  So, please join us in praying for this spelling correction to be taken care of quickly and for everything else along the road to go smoothly so we can be welcoming Nora into our country, home, and arms before the end of September!  As always, we cherish your prayers and support along the road.

"A gift opens the way
    and ushers the giver into the presence of the great."

~Proverbs 18:16

Practicing Joy

We are just over 700 days into our adoption process.  That is 1 year, 11 months, 1 week, and 6 days to be exact.  Just over 700 days.  Some days that number seems really high.  In a way, the time has moved quickly.  More days than that, however, it feels just the opposite--like that 700 really is at least 1000 years because the time is moving slowly.

I read a familiar Scripture, 2 Peter 3:8, yesterday: "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends; With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day."  I made note that on the days when it feels like time is dragging on and a thousand years have passed in 24 hours, the Lord understands my pain and is there WITH me.  The verse above says so.  "With the Lord a day is like a thousand years..."  He is with me on those hard days that feel indescribably long.  And when the days are passing quickly, I also found great comfort in the fact that God is with me on those days too.  When this process is said and done and Nora is eating breakfast at our table and saying prayers with us at night, these 700+ days will feel like less than a day in the grand scheme of things.  That concept truly does help my brain simmer down on how much I am missing out on as the days count onward.

So at just after 700 days, where are we at in the process?  How close are we to bringing Nora home?  Those are the questions I get asked most often.  Although I don't have all of the answers, here is the best I've got...

We are in our 7th week in the department called MOI (Ministry of Interior).  Our original projected time line puts this part of the process at 3-6 months.  Just before we got into MOI, the typical time frames were running 4-6 weeks if there were no errors in the paperwork, but if there were errors, we should be prepared to sit there for quite some time.  All of the others ahead of us in our orphanage have unfortunately run into issues in MOI and have definitely been in for 3-6 months now.  I'm heartbroken for them as I want their children home just like I want Nora home.  It's hard for my brain to comprehend why this last check over all of the materials would take so long if they had made it through all the other departments fine, but to put it into a bit more perspective, there are supposedly around 2000 files in MOI to be processed right now.  On top of that, the building MOI is located in just went through a remodeling project and shut down for the reconstruction.  (Can you even imagine if one of our US governmental offices just simply shut down while it was being remodeled???  What a concept.)  It helps to face the realities of the timeline when you have some sort of facts to cling to.  Anyway, we currently have no clue if our papers have any errors or not so we just don't know how long it will take us to get through MOI.  That has been very frustrating to me, and as much as I want an answer to that question, I know I will not get it for now.  Many people would say this is a chance to practice patience.  That typically brings a quick eye-roll from this Mama.  Um, no, I've had a little over 700 days to practice patience...I think I have that one down at this point, thank you very much.  But what it does give me is an opportunity to practice something different...to practice joy.

Take note, like I had to, that joy is not happiness.  Happiness is conditional, elusive to some, caught by many and then dropped by everyone as soon as something comes along that steals it away.  If your day is going well, you are happy.  If it is not going well, you are not so happy.  It's not something that is constant despite the situation you find yourself in.  Joy, however, goes beyond the beginnings and ends of each situation.  Joy can be held captive within your soul and heart when the next "bad" thing comes along trying to steal it away.  Joy is a gift of the Spirit.  A gift that is given by a Holy God because He loves us.  It is ours for the keeping!  It is a gift that unfortunately has been getting buried a bit this far into the adoption journey and lately I've realized the need to pull it out to the surface again.

This journey has been weary for me, there is no getting around that.  It has taken me to depths I have never gone before and taught me such amazingly wonderful things about God, myself, and others I had never learned before.  It has had moments of gut-wrenching pain and mountain-top elation.  It has drawn our family closer together and caused a fierce love to grow for a certain little lady we are blessed to adding to our family.  It has brought out the uglies in me and it has given me opportunities to share the love of Christ with others.  It has brought deep sorrow for so many different reasons and it has had many happy times as well.  Through it all, joy has always been there--sometimes deep underneath and sometimes at the surface, but it has been there.  Lately, it has been deep underneath.  I have allowed the frustrations and heartache of the wait and unanswered questions to push it deeper and deeper underneath my bitterness and child-like "it's not fair" pouting fits.

A few weeks back, however, after some great time in the Word and talking with Micah, I realized I was allowing the end of this adoption to be shaded with negativity instead of joy.  I was allowing the beauty of adoption and the excitement of the fact we have been chosen to add this amazing little girl into our family to be lost in the negatives.  Even when it feels like a 1000 year type of day, our time of waiting is drawing closer and closer to an end and instead of getting more and more excited for Nora's arrival, I have been focused on the frustrations of the moment instead.  It's almost like the end of a pregnancy when the mom-to-be has swollen feet, can hardly move her front-heavy body around, and is overwhelmed with her pre-labor emotions.  Is she thinking about the excitement and joy of the miracle of life that is just around her corner?  Not really.  In all honesty, she's thinking about how to get her body off the couch one more blasted time to get to the bathroom before she pees her pants...again.  (Am I right, moms out there???)  It is HARD for that precious mom-to-be to focus on the blessing inside of her body that is about to make his or her appearance.  It is hard for her to take her mind off the circumstances surrounding her and focus more on the joy of the role God has given her to bring life into this world.  So it is with this adoption--it is hard to choose the joy and excitement of what is happening--the final moments getting in line before the miracle moment--over the realities of what my current situation is--tired of being "pregnant" for over 700 days.

However, since that realization a few weeks back, I have seen the freedom and blessing in choosing to practice joy.  I say "practice" because I have to admit, it is still not a the point of coming completely natural.  I still have to consciously think about choosing joy.  I have to make myself choose joy each day (or several times a day).  I have to practice because I'm pretty out of shape using it.  When I do it, though, it is liberating to my soul.  Joy, friends, is the blessing of feeling in control of myself again and making the decisions the Lord has always meant for me to make.  I no longer allow the situations and circumstances of my day to determine if my joy is unleashed or not.  Joy is a gift the Lord has given to me and it is MY choice to have it, not my circumstances choice.  Because I have decided to say YES to joy--YES to including this gift God has given me into my day--I have found myself so much more focused on the excitement of the coming events than ever before.  Nora is coming home, friends!  I have MUCH joy because of this fact.  I refuse to let the unknowns of that date and time steal away the joy God has given me to experience even in the wait.  Today, I choose to practice joy and regain the gift He has given to me.  The more I do it, the more peace comes and replaces the frustrations of a weary brain, the more love comes and replaces bitterness with people I have never met who handle our paperwork, the more hope comes and replaces the feelings that this will never end.  This joy, when found in my heart, is extended to others too, and the more joy is shared with the world.

The Lord gave me a Word that has spoken Truth and Blessing over my weary body.  It is found in Hosea 2:14-15: "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.  There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.  There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt."  See, friends, even though I feel like I'm indeed trekking through a desert these days, I can rest knowing that God is the One who has led me here because He is longing to speak tenderly to me.  There is no better place to do so than where I am most needy--a desert place.  Because I have followed Him to this desert place, I am promised such treasures--I am promised by the Lord to have tender words spoken over me, my vineyards (my fruit of the Spirit) restored (which includes my JOY), and I will be given hope again.  I will sing again as I did when I first found my freedom and I'm so excited for that!

So even after 700+ days of wandering around in the desert with the Lord, I have the ability, the privilege, the choice given to me by Him to have joy, to experience joy, to practice joy until it comes naturally.  I am grateful for the desert place I'm in with the Lord and the joy I am finding there.  Practicing leads to perfecting.  Not that I'll ever get my joy perfected before entering the gates of Heaven, but the more I do it, the better I'll be.  This concept reminds me of a little song on my Bullfrogs and Butterflies tape I listened to as a child...perhaps this is the "song of my youth" from that passage in Hosea God wanted me to start singing again...

One of the ways to I've found helpful in practicing joy is reading Scripture that points me in the right direction.  Here are a several for you to use if you, too, are needing that boost of encouragement today...

• "The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes." ~Psalm 19:8
  

• "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him." ~Psalm 28:7
  

• "Bring joy to your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in you." ~Psalm 86:4
  

• '"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy." ~Psalm 94:19

• "If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." ~John 15:10-12

• "A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy." ~John 16:21-22
  

• "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." ~Romans 12:12
  

• "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." ~Romans 15:13

• "Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,  not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." ~Philippians 2:1-3

I pray blessings of joy over myself and each of you today no matter where God has you in your own life.  Whether you are in a desert place or a mountain top high, joy is a gift within you--I pray you chose to experience it today...the freedom it brings is priceless!

Sometimes Mothers Don't Know Best...Lessons from a 7 Year Old's Birthday

I've been mulling over the content of this post for several weeks now.  The more I chew on it, the more it speaks to my heart of hearts and the more my heart of hearts smiles.  I smile not because of something I have done, but because of the work of the Lord in my daughter's heart and even my own.  He certainly loves us all and calls us all to be missionaries of His love to others...even 7 year olds.

Let me take you back several weeks with me.  The scene would be my almost 7 year old daughter sitting on a couch asking me when we are going to send out her birthday party invitations.  Birthday invitations, yep, almost forgot those.  In all the planning of when the party will be scheduled, what the theme will be, what decorations we'll use, what the cake will be decorated as and how many people we will invite, we somehow missed also figuring out WHO we will invite and actually getting the invitations in the mail.  Oh the woes of birthday party planning...there is so much to do.  However, we did have to get those invitations out because the party was just a few weeks away and the rest would be pointless if there were not people there to enjoy it all.  So, with that background, the work of the Lord began.

I told Lily to get a piece of paper and write down the names of the girls she wanted to invite to her party.  We previously agreed to invite only 6 girls this year because, with her included, that would make 7 girls total and she was turning 7 years old--seemed fitting.  (Last year we had 13 girls and it was...well...a tad overwhelming).  So, with pencil and paper in hand, Lily made her list.  When she handed it to me, I was surprised to see names of young girls I had never heard of before instead of the familiar names of the ones we've seen grow up beside our daughter over the past 7 years.  Where were the names of her closest friends?

Instantly, I began to derail the work of the Lord.  "Um, Lil, I don't even know these girls.  Who are they?  Why didn't you put your best friends on the list?"

Looking at me like she had never even thought of that notion, Lily answered, "Well, these are some of the people I know from school and the bus, Mom.  I wanted to invite them to my party."

Still oblivious to my undermining, I said, "Well, that's sweet of you, Honey, but since you can only invite 6 girls, don't you want those to be your closest friends?  Don't you think your friends will be sad if they are not invited to your party while other people you don't know very well were?"

"But, Mom," Lily pleaded, "these girls haven't ever been to my house yet and I thought it would be fun to have them come to my party so I could show them where we live and my room and toys and stuff."

To which, in my not-so-glamorous moment, I replied, "Well, I understand that you want to have other girls over but let's do that some other time this summer and invite your closest friends to your birthday party instead, okay?  That way you get to celebrate with your friends!"

With a roll of the eyes and a "Yes, Mom," Lily began erasing well-meaning names off her list and replacing them with her "closer" friends just like her mother told her to do.  (Insert hind-sight shutter).

Mind you, I had no guilt over my decision to have Lily change her invitation list.  No reservation that I had perhaps not made the right choice.  No further thoughts that made me question if my motherly advise was good or not.  I mean, come on, this is what parties are like, right?  A place of celebration where our closest friends surround us and cheer us on.  A place where you are the highlighted person amongst your peers or co-workers or family members for a short time because of an accomplishment of some sort--like turning another year older.  For young girls, a birthday party is a place where you get to open presents, eat cake, and laugh the hours away with all of your friends.  It's not a time or place where you actually do Kingdom work...is it?  Well, I believe God has a differing opinion than I did.

The very next morning, forgetting the events with my daughter the evening before, I opened up my Good Morning Girls Bible study reading to a passage in Luke 14.  That's when everything started to unravel and God got my attention.  If there is any question on whether the Bible still applies today, this is an example of how I could answer that with a profound "YES!"  The active and applicable Word of God is what opened my eyes to the Truth.  Read with me...

Luke 14:12-14
"Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid.  But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind,  and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

Ouch...a good ouch. Instantaneously, I had complete conviction over my oh-so-wise mothering decisions the evening before.  How could I be so blind to the way I was misguiding my precious daughter away from her innocent and tender way of being a follower of Christ's ways?  How could I be so gullible to following the ways of this world...the ways of adults...the ways of conditioned people who think selfishly of who they WANT to be around for a few hours instead of who they SHOULD be around for a few hours.  How did I miss the holiness of my daughter's choice of guests?  I was so grateful for the wake up call.  So grateful for God's Word.  So grateful He didn't leave me in my shallowness, but drew me into a deeper knowledge of His ways and His desires.  I knew I needed to have a talk with Lily when she got off the bus that afternoon and was so excited to express my sincere apologies and seek forgiveness from her.

After Lily bounded off the bus, I sat down on the couch with her and told her I needed to show her what I read in the Bible that morning.  We read the passage together and I apologized for not following what Christ had taught there.  I also thanked her for her heart's desire to reach out to those who had never had the chance to come to our house or be invited to one of her special parties.  I made sure she knew she was very, very right in her train of thought and that her heart was so very good.  I told her, in the end, it really didn't matter who she invited to the party--whether it was some of her closer friends and family or girls she had never invited over before.  What was important was following the whispers Christ had put into her heart and not allowing others (even her very own mother) stand in the way of that.  I gave her the paper back and told her to please invite whomever she wanted to invite, and that if there were new friends on that list, I would be excited to get to know them better.

So, she did rewrite the list...back to the original almost and I couldn't have been more elated.  A 7 year old missionary of Christ's love.  Yep, that is what I have growing up in my presence.  A 7 year old who has a heart that beats to the drum of the Lord.  A 7 year old who is willing to sacrifice sharing cake with her "besties" in order to bring others into her home who haven't had that chance yet.  A 7 year old who is more focused on others feeling included and loved than on what others will think of her decisions.  A 7 year old who I am so very blessed to have as my daughter.  A 7 year old who just schooled her mom on how to live like Jesus.

I'm thanking the Lord for her today.  Thanking the Lord for using her and His Word to teach me, once again, that even though I'm the mother, sometimes mothers don't always know what's best.

P.S.  She had a fun, crazy loud party with other precious young girls whom we were blessed to get to know a little better.  Praise the Lord!

The Month of May

I notice as I log on here that my last post was clear back at the beginning of May.  This actually does not surprise me one bit.  May is a crazy month for our family and this year was no exception!  Here are some words and photos to show off our month...

We started the month off with a trip to the zoo for Lily and Micah (with her class)...

Ready to head to the zoo

You can barely see it, but Lily is feeding the giraffe (in the gray shirt)

Then an adoption fundraiser jewelry party which had low attendance, but we still managed to make sales in oustide guests and were blessed with enough money to pay for another month of Nora's care--praise God!  A special thank you to my dear friend, Abbe, for her willingness to help in this way.

Next on the calendar was Mother's Day and then Toby's preschool spring program.  Toby was adamant he was not going to get up on the stage, but when it came down to it, he not only got on the stage, he even said a line all by himself in one of the songs!  Such a proud Mama moment!

Firefighter Toby!

Flower being rained on

Toby with his teacher, Miss Jane, whom we love!

We moved forward to Lily's school music program where she was a very cute explorer.  She had a lot of fun singing the songs and making some music with her classmates.

Explorer Lily

Our family getting eaten alive by mosquitoes after Lily's program

Throughout April and the beginning of this month, I worked on a watercolor painting for my brother-in-law, Jerry.  He was wanting it done for the camp they are directors of.

It was fun to get back to painting a bit...for some reason those days are few and far between right now.  I had to get the painting done by the middle of the month because...

The day after Lily's school program we surprised the kids with our trip to South Dakota for our oldest niece's high school graduation.  They literally had no idea we had planned the trip until we were heading out the door--it was great!  We loved our time out with family so much we debated half way across Iowa about just turning back around and calling the kids and Micah off work and school for several more days.  Getting away and being a family with no crazy schedules was so refreshing.

Kids outside on Swan Lake Christian Camp's infamous bell

Uncle Micah playing with Liam

Big smiles for all since Aunt Angie was able to hold Liam this trip

Lily's horse ride

Quinn's horse ride with Aunt Judi

Can you tell Quinn was having LOTS of fun outside?!?!

Getting ready for the graduation festivities

Little ornery cuties

Quinn with cousin Laura at graduation

Cousin Melissa swinging the kids on the hammocks

Our family at the lake

Dirt and boys always find each other

Even dirt and the older "boy"--awww....so sweet!

Our family with the Grad-Kayle!  Congrats!!!

Papa T with the grandkids

We did continue on home, however, because we had a garden to plant...

and our subdivision garage sales to get ready for.  We had great success at the sales so it made all the work worth it.  We were then able to collect a lot of the neighbor's "left-overs" from the sales and give them to another family who are adopting another sweet one from Rivers of Hope.  They are doing their own adoption garage sale fundraiser in just a few short weeks so we pray our extras will bless their efforts!  It was also nice to meet another fellow ROH family in person.  Many blessings to them!

Extras being gathered to send off to our other ROH friends

After the garage sales, I was finally able to box up lots of scrubs we've been collecting for several months. With the hospital Micah works at going to uniform scrubs this past year, we were able to ask many he knew to donate their old scrubs for clinics Project Medishare works in.  I'm so excited to be able to send these off to this great organization.  For more info on what all Project Medishare does in Haiti, click here!

We've also taken advantage of some nice warmer weather and had our first family campfire of the season.  We all enjoyed some pizza pudgy pies and s'mores over the flames.  Yummo!

Quinn guarding the s'mores supplies

Love

Yummy!

Nothing like a good ole roasted marshmallow

We are then rounding out the month with Lily's 7th birthday on her last day of school today.  Can't believe I'm writing I have a 7 year old 2nd grader in our household now!  Time flies for sure.  Still in blue at the end of the year-ha!

Lily on the first day of school as a 1st grader

Lily on the last day of school as a 1st grader (also her 7th birthday-today!)

This week, we were able to head to Lily's school to celebrate her birthday with her classmates.  On each child's birthday, her teacher has the classmates write a little letter to the birthday girl or boy and then she reads them all while that child sits in front of her class.  I stood there listening to the words of Lily's peers they had wrote about her with tears in my eyes.  As a parent you tend to see so many treasures within the personality and life of your children that you wonder if others notice.  I daily get to see so many ways that Lily cares for others, loves with a big open heart, and gives gifts and encouragement like it's going out of style.  As I heard the words being read off the pages of these letters, I realized that, yes, God is using those gifts not just in our home but to all she meets.  She is a gem!  Here are a few of the words her classmates spoke of her--I'm so thankful for having these for Lily to treasure.  They are truths spoken over her that will be needed when days come that unfortunately will carry unkind words.

-You are so nice. You are even fast at running and very sweet too.
-You are very special because God made you.
-You are nice and funny and you are a nice friend.
-You are a good artist and you do nice things.
-You are very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very nice.
-You have a good heart.
-You can run as fast as a car.
-You are nice and sweet. You are responsible and careful. You are full of love.
-You are a good friend. You have a good heart. You are full of love.
-You are so, so, so nice to me and the others and you are full of love.
-You are my BFF! You have a good heart. You are a good friend.
-You are nice and you get your work done in time. You are my first BFF!

 

So, all in all, this has been a very busy but highly rewarding month.  We still have Lily's home party yet this weekend and then I may have to collapse on the couch for a day to recover from it all.  When I look back, I'm amazed that this was a potential month (way back when) to have Nora coming home.  Obviously, we would have cancelled some things to make it work, but it still would have been pretty crazy.  Her homecoming still feels so far off, but the reality is she will be home sometime soon and I'm glad our super busy month is passed so we can relish her even more when she needs us to be more solely focused on her.  No new news from Haiti regarding our process, but we have enjoyed a few beautiful new pictures from two of our favorite young Canadian women who traveled back down to ROH to love on our kids again. Ashley and Ketsia have been such a huge blessing to our family and to Nora specifically.  We are always grateful for the love they give Nora.

Nora with Ketsia

Nora with Ashley

Chowing down on some mango

Sticky Mango Love

Tired girl

Pure Beauty

Process wise, we are still in MOI, but have not necessarily been there any longer than expected at this point.  More typical time frames for this stage are 4-6 weeks although so many from our orphanage have been stuck there for months and months.  We are beginning our 4th week there, so please be praying with us we will get out very soon and move on to passports.  Our hearts' desires is to see Nora come home by the end of July so our children will be able to have a few weeks all at home together before heading back to school.  God is Able!  If you remember, at the beginning of this journey we decided to help make these days a little bit more tangible for our children by starting a paper link chain around the top of Lily and Nora's room.  Every day we add a link.  We had high hopes of having her home before the chain encircled her room twice.  Well, we are getting very near the end of that second time around and it's not looking hopeful we will have her home before it reaches the starting point once again, but we have high hopes there will not be too many more chains left to be added.  As hard as it is to see link after link after link go up, it has at least created a beautiful scene around the top of their room...almost as if their room is being literally surrounded by love and care just as we pray for Nora each night as a family.  Here's a little video to show you the visual of just how many days our children have been waiting to see their sister in their very own home.  May God speed the remainder of the process and get these kiddos together!

Look Who's a Thieszen Now!!!

It is with much joy we report today we have received a message from Haiti today that our dossier is in MOI now.  For those of you who have no idea what that means, it means we have passed through legalizations and have our legalized adoption decree.  If you still don't know what that means, it means....

This little beauty is now officially a "Thieszen"!

YAYAYAYAYAYAYYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feel free to join in our celebrations today however you want to--we are praising God, dancing, jumping into each others' arms, kissing each other, hugging each other, crying, thanking God over and over and over...you get the picture.  We are HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!

Now, what exactly does this mean as far as process?  Well, in layman's terms MOI is the last large step on the Haitian end of the process.  Our entire dossier and all paperwork gathered on the Haitian side needs one last stamp of approval in order for Nora to be granted a passport. This "stamp" sounds easy enough to get, but it is just the same as all other parts of this process...very unpredictable.  I have seen families miraculously get through this stage in 2 weeks time, more typically 4-6 weeks of time, and as long as months upon months upon months of time.  The families in our orphanage who are currently in MOI have unfortunately been held up there for too long.  We have no idea how long it will take for our paperwork to come through.  When it does, it will then head on over to passports, which hopefully will not take more than a few weeks to get.  After Nora has her passport, we will then enter USCIS (US Immigration).  The current time frame for USCIS has been running about 4-6 weeks as well from entering to take home date!  So, yes, we still have several more months to go, but IT IS COMING!!!!  Please continue praying for our process and paperwork to get through these last steps with no more major hold-ups.  Hopefully soon we will not just have an official "Thieszen" but a "Thieszen" who is HOME with the rest of us...Praise the Lord!