Italy, Cancun, and Sauder Village...10 Years and Counting!

Marriage.

What would you say if you could sum up marriage in one word?  Perhaps it would be "challenging".  Maybe "amazing".  Possibly "stretching".  Then there is always "love", "sacrifice", "compromise", "happiness", "grace", "hard", "hilarious", "brokenness", "commitment" and an infinite list of others.  I'm going to go so bold as to say the word I've been mulling over in my head for my own marriage.  It's..."perfect".  I know, I know, no marriage is "perfect" and nothing aside from Christ alone can be perfect this side of Heaven, but let me explain why I'm choosing this word.

No, I don't think everything about my marriage is perfect.  I am not perfect.  Micah is not perfect.  The events in our day-to-day life are not perfect.  Our actions and reactions towards each other are not perfect.  But what is perfect is the fact that a perfect God brought us two crazy, incomplete, holy, loved, broken, and valuable people together to go through life beside.  God's plan of pulling us together was and still is certainly perfect after 10+ years of being together and that is what makes my marriage perfect...everything else involved NEEDS His perfection infused daily to keep it all together.

November 30th is fast approaching and Micah and I will celebrate 10 years of being united under the vows of marriage.  10 years of learning, growing, shedding tears--of joy as well as sadness.  10 years of building each other up and, unfortunately, at times bringing each other down.  10 years of bringing out each others' strengths as well as weaknesses to work on.  10 years of sharing accomplished dreams and our worst nightmares.  10 years of imperfect people living with a perfect Lord guiding us along the journey = 10 years of marriage perfection.

When we first got married we naively said we would take our dream trip to Italy for our 10 year anniversary.  Ha!  10 years seemed like such a long time off...we would have plenty of time to save up the money and then whisk ourselves away to a romantic time together amongst the beauty and richness of Italy.  Then came the purchase of our dog, a change in career choices for Micah that meant more schooling, a move from Friedenswald to Goshen, a career change for me, a hospitalized kidney infection for me, the birth of our first child, the purchase of our first house, a totaled vehicle and purchase of our new-to-us van, the birth of our second child, emergency heart surgery on that second child, gall bladder surgery on me, the birth of our third child, preschool for our first child, a medical mission trip to Haiti, the sale of our first home and purchase of our second one, the need for a second vehicle (a.k.a. piece of crap), too much maintenance on that piece of crap second vehicle, and then the sale of that vehicle and purchase of a different and better new-to-us second vehicle.  Whew!  Italy wasn't looking too realistic come year 8 of marriage.

So, Italy got put on the back burner.  We narrowed down our focus to a more realistic choice...Cancun.  Yes!  Cancun it would be.  A week of luxury and alone time for me and my man along the shores of the beautiful ocean.  Ahhhh.....  Then came the decision to answer God's call to adopt, the expenses to see that adoption actually happen and preschool for our second child.  Hmm....Cancun???  Well, as much as we still wish it would be a reality, it just isn't.  Without knowing the length of the rest of Nora's adoption we can't risk spending that extra saved money on a week in luxury.  So, just as Italy got put on the back burner, Cancun also got put on the other back burner, but that doesn't mean Micah and I will not get to celebrate our anniversary in a special way.

Thanks to my parent's willingness to watch their adorably cute grandkids for an overnight, Micah and I will get to spend a night at the Heritage Inn on the grounds of Sauder's Village in Archbold, Ohio.  Yep, Sauder's Village...the place I went to as a kid for a field trip-ha!  No, it's not the romance of Italy or the warm climate of Cancun, but it will still be a time for just the two of us to spend together.  Maybe we'll spend our time reflecting back on our 10 years of a perfect marriage of two imperfect people.  Maybe we'll take a walk around the grounds of the village.  Maybe we'll...well, sleep.  No matter what we do, we will enjoy every single second of that quality time away together.  The reality of marriage is not that two lives get whisked away to enjoy each other every second of every day with no regard to the world around them.  It's more like two lives coming together and living those lives as one life instead--a life full of busy, hectic, wonderful, crazy moments.  It's a life that comes with many, many things that change the course of a planned future....a life that changes trips from Italy, to Cancun, to Sauder's Village.

Is that changed future any less exciting, romantic, blessed, or free?  Not really.  Maybe the vacations and breaks are not as long and not as far away, but the tradeoff is priceless.  I would NEVER trade in Micah becoming a nurse using his God-given talents to help cancer patients who desperately need his sense of humor and care for a trip to Cancun or even a trip to Italy.  I would never trade in any of my 4 precious children.  I would never trade in the memories made in our two homes.  I would never trade in the health of my family.  I would never trade in the journey of adoption.  I would never trade in 10 years of a perfect marriage guided by a perfect God for what we assume would be the "perfect" anniversary get-a-way.  The life we have lived over the past 10 years as a married team is far too amazing...far too beyond my dreams.  I'll gladly take my overnight to Sauder's Village instead.

I am blessed.  I was blessed before I met Micah.  I am blessed to have met and married Micah.  I am blessed to have the life I live.  I am blessed to be celebrating our 10 year anniversary with an overnight at a local inn.  I am even more blessed because a God who loves me, cares for me, and lives with me each and every moment of my life has made it all perfect for me.

10 years and counting, Babe.  I love you so very much.  I respect you more and more and more each day we are together.  You have enriched my life by simply being you.  Thank you, Micah!  We have so many more years together--eventually we'll get to Cancun and to Italy, I just know it.  Here's to 10 years and to making the movies jealous...

(Sorry about the quality of some of those earlier photos in the video...they are photos taken of photos in my early scrapbooks.)

A Trip Worth Taking

Let me apologize first of all for not getting this post out sooner...our time in Haiti went by super fast with little to no time to be on the computer and since I've been home, life has continued on without a blink by celebrating Quinn's 3rd birthday (Blues Clues cupcake cake and lots of fun presents) and having Toby's annual heart appointment (no changes from last year so cleared for another year-Praise God!)  I am finally able to sit down today and share about our trip through words, photos, and videos...whew!

I think it may be best to tell about my trip through the answers to the prayer requests I asked before we left and then to fill in little extras here and there.  God certainly went before us, was there with us, and will continue on this journey with us here and with Nora there.  I was continually amazed at the ways I saw God move on our behalf.

Request #1 was: Tropical Storm Sandy, which then turned into Hurricane Sandy.  I asked for you to pray for the weather to be calm enough for our flights to continue on as scheduled.

• Answer: Everything went through completely fine.  Haiti had seen 4 days of straight wind, rain, and cooler temps until we arrived on Saturday.  All was warm and sunny while we were there and we never saw a drop of rain.  The effects of the storm were still evident as we did not have electricity, internet, or phone for the first two days there and the dry riverbed we had to cross to get to church was not so dry anymore, but instead had ruts of rushing water going through it.  We were thankful to have come down when we did and not a day sooner!

Request #2 was: To have my sis-in-law's flights to be running on schedule since she was with American Airlines.

• Answer: She had no delays and arrived safely in Haiti one hour before we did just as planned.

Request #3 was: Travel sickness to not happen.

• Answer: Well our first flight from Detroit to Fort Lauderdale was the roughest turbulence I have ever been in.  I had taken only 1/2 of my pill and regretted that decision.  I felt horrible, but managed to get through it all without actually getting sick so that was a praise.  For all other flights and even for the two days of driving the crazy Haiti roads I took full doses of medicine and felt GREAT through it all with little to no sleepiness--Yay!!!

Request#4 was: Layovers of flights

• Answer: Our overnight layover went as smooth as it could.  We had 5 hours of sleep in a hotel room and I still think those 5 hours of rest were definitely needed before heading on over to meet Nora.  I was feeling pretty gross at that point so getting some sleep helped.  Lily did fabulous despite the fewer hours of sleep--she was rather excited to see her first palm tree instead!  Our 8 1/2 hour in airport layover on our return trip turned into 9 1/2 hours because of the need to use a different plane.  The time went surprising quick, however, and we enjoyed our moments together watching movies, working on photos, and playing some games.

Request #5 was: Haitian Airport

• Answer: Couldn't have gone smoother!  Rachel and Judi were able to come back through security to help us with luggage and Lily was able to walk with her hand in Aunt Judi's the whole way to the car so I was relaxed and enjoyed those first moments in the sunshine of Haiti.  The crowds were also not nearly as bad as the last time we flew into PAP so I'm sure that helped!

Request #6 was: Our US Embassy appointment and our Parquet Court appointments to be swift in the wait, all the paperwork would be correct, and questions would be answered.

• Answer: WOW.  The forecasted 4-6 hour waits at both appointments were never seen.  Our US Embassy appointment was under 2 hours and our Parquet Court appointment was 1!!!  Praise the Lord!  The buildings that were supposedly freezing cold were completely fine and the building that was supposedly incredibly hot felt like it had pleasant air conditioning-ha!  It was amazing to get in and out of those places in the times we did.  We literally were stuck in traffic for 2 hours each day getting to the appointments so having them go faster than the drive it took to get there was wonderful.  After being called up very quickly at the Embassy appointment, I was told there were a few sections on the paperwork that still needed to be filled out by our director and she hadn't done that yet.  I was fearful we would be waiting forever since we didn't have it all together when they originally called us up, but was thankful the wait until she called us again was only another 1/2 hour.  Whew. The next day when we went to Parquet, we were running pretty late (not getting there until 11 a.m.), but when we arrived we found out the Dean had not even been there yet that day so if we had been there first thing in the morning like the original plan we would have just been waiting for hours.  What an answer to prayer!  The Dean ended up being so busy when he arrived, the assistant simply took my passport back to him and he signed off on our paperwork without even seeing me face to face...I'll take it!

Request #7 was: Sleeping arrangements.

• Answer: It all worked out beautifully.  Lily and I shared a double bed the first two nights while Judi had a bunk bed (upper bunk unfortunately, but it was a good mattress at least).  Our beds unfortunately didn't have mosquito nets, however, and Lily got eaten up the second night.  The following two nights, however, we were able to switch into another smaller bedroom where we each had a bottom bunk under mosquito nets so that was even better.  The team of 17 who were helping at the MTM clinic and also staying at the guest house with us were all very nice and fun to be around.  I am forever grateful for the entertainment they provided for Lily especially.  When they left half way through our trip she was a bit lost on what to do since their domino games were not as frequent-hee, hee!  It was nice to have a little of both "worlds" on the trip--lots of people to socialize with at the beginning of the trip and a night to ourselves at the end.

Request #8 was: Time with Nora and for the bonding between Nora and Lily to go well.

• Answer: It was REALLY good to be there for 5 full days.  I won't lie--the first 2 days were pretty overwhelming for me.  Between my organized personality not having anything organized, trying to care for Lily and make sure my sister-in-law was doing fine (which she always was), being tired and not feeling the best from traveling, trying to even find a cleared off space on my bed to sit down on, and then having my little girl given to me with no instructions and not enough supplies for the day (a bag with 2 diapers, an extra change of clothes, and a sippy cup)...well, let's just say I was overwhelmed.  I had no idea how much she ate, what she was even able to eat, or how much she slept during the day.  I also thankfully had packed a bottle, formula, and many more diapers since those were not included in the daily bag.  Oye.  It definitely took a few days to figure out how to even best care for her--I felt much like I did bringing home my first baby from the hospital, but it was just a 1 year old baby instead of a newborn!  Those first days are overwhelming for any new mom.
• Nora was also overwhelmed in those first two days.  She would smile at us every once in a while, but her two fingers were in her mouth quite a bit.  She always used her fingers in her mouth on the last trip to fall asleep--a comfort suck--but now that she is older, she also uses this as a comfort when she is uncomfortable, scared, or uneasy.  We saw them more in her mouth in the first two days than the last 3 for sure.  As we spent time with her she warmed up to us and began to understand we were safe people to be around, fun to play with, and loved her very much.  With each day she became more animated, more smiley, and MUCH more loud with her words!  She was always happy and content, but definitely vocal--it was so nice to hear her say her favorite words of the week "Daddy!", "Huh???", and "Mama".  The last day together we even went to a few public places and I found her clinging to my shirt when strangers came near her...that is a GREAT sign of bonding.  She knew I was safe and who she could cling to and for those moments, I was so grateful to have had 5 days with her to get her to that point.
• As far as Lily bonding with Nora...yes, they are definitely sisters!  They had fun coloring, shaking maracas, loving on Lily's kitty stuffed animal, eating snacks, and building towers with the blocks we brought down for her.  When it came time to say good-bye, Lily was all smiles and hugs to Nora in her car seat, but once she was gone, oh did the tears come.  We were able to share in those moments of sadness together through our tears.  As I assured her it was completely fine to be crying because it was definitely a very sad thing to be leaving Nora behind, I heard her say through tears, "Mom, I wish you would have never brought me to Haiti."  I asked her why she said that and she answered, "So I would have never had to say goodbye to Nora."  Oh my heart.  It was a moment of such heartache on one hand and such blessing on the other because it was clear as day to me that Lily indeed bonded as a sister.  We talked for a few moments about all the good things we experienced on our trip and that if Lily had not come at all she never would have met Nora yet and that would have made Lily just as sad.  We talked about how the best thing about this trip was that it was the last one we would ever have to make where we had to leave Nora behind in Haiti.  After several more minutes of being alone upstairs where Judi and I could hear Lily crying, she came back downstairs ready for a few last games of dominoes before bedtime.  Leaving Nora behind was a hard moment for all of us, but one I feel was still a wonderful moment in Lily's life.  It was a moment where she realized just how much she loved Nora and wanted to be with her forever.  It was a moment I treasured as a mom as well.

Request #9 was: For our cameras to all be working well so we could get as many photos and videos as possible.

• Answer: Well, we had over 700 photos and 37 short videos to begin with-Ha!  That was before I could sort through the photos and delete off a lot of blurry ones and such.  We ended with 448 photos and still 37 short videos!  So, yes, this prayer request was answered for sure.  There is a slideshow at the end of this post to enjoy the highlights from the trip (don't worry, it doesn't have all 448 photos-ha!).  Following that are a few of my favorite video clips of our sweet Nora.  I hope you enjoy watching our little girl in action.

A few other tidbits:

• I got to shake hands with one of Haiti's past presidents, Baby Doc, while Rachel drove us towards one of the best little pastry shops in PAP.  It was so random and crazy and cool!  I wish I would have had my camera more ready, but the fact his face was so close to mine (right outside the window of my side of the car) it wouldn't have turned out very well anyway.  I'll take the handshake instead...I can't even say I've ever shook the hand of a past president in the US!
• I had the BEST drink--a cherry drink at a restaurant Rachel took us to.  I don't like cherries at all, but this was wonderful and tasted nothing like US cherries...I could have had that drink every day.
• Our trip to MTM's church was super exciting and totally crazy as we bumped our way down washed out pathways and across the river with raging waters in a truck and a 4-wheel Ranger.  We got stuck for a little while trying to get up the steep roadway on the other side of the mountain.  We have some pictures of the truck going over the middle of the riverbed, but they definitely do not do justice to what the ride was actually like.  Lily's quote once we were back to the guest house after church was, "Mom, I don't EVER want to do that again!!!!"
• Lily enjoyed seeing goats, chickens, and cows randomly on the roadways.
• Lily also was amazed at the way everyone carried such amazingly heavy things on their heads.  She attempted to carry her stuffed animal the same way in the airport on our return trip home.
• I was so incredibly blessed to have Judi on this trip with me.  She was an amazing helper with the girls and just a joy to be around.
• Skype is one of the best inventions.  Micah and the boys (and my mom) were able to get a few chances to interact with Nora this way...what a blessing!  When we closed the computer after the last time, Nora looked at me with her big eyes and said "Daddy?!?" and waved her little hand.  So sweet!
• We were unfortunately not able to get a hold of Nora's birth mom while we were down there so I am hoping she will be able to see us off on our next trip.  I have great respect for her and desire to know so much more about her before we bring Nora home.
• One of my favorite memories on the trip will be hearing Lily whisper to me in the airport waiting to board the plane for PAP.  She seemed quite surprised despite my efforts to enlighten her earlier that almost the entire crowd of people getting ready to board the plane had black skin.  I told her again that yes, we would be more of the minority once we were in Haiti because Haitians are (generally speaking) black skinned people.  I think this concept, although known from the beginning, did not become truly known until she had a visual for it.  It is my hope and dream to see each of my children break out of their normal little box of life and experience the many cultures and beautiful people God has blessed the face of the world with.  What made this moment even more special was seeing a note Lily wrote on her dry erase notebook during our church service at MTM just 2 days later.  There is a photo of it in the slideshow, but it said "I love blak pople" (translation: "I love black people").  I love that God can help change a shy, whispering girl into one who proudly writes her heart on a note for all to see in a matter of 2 days.  Praise God for that!
• Please continue to pray for our process to continue on swiftly.  The average time frame until we would bring Nora home is another 6-9 months.  It could be longer or it could be shorter as well, so, as I have from the very beginning, I am praying for it to be as fast as miraculously possible.

In conclusion, this trip to Haiti very much reflected our adoption journey as a whole...it was hard and sweet at the same time.  It was definitely a trip worth taking...this adoption journey is also definitely a trip worth taking.  Thank you again for praying, friends.  We were never meant to go through this journey without you!

 

 

Specific Prayer Request for our Trip

Last post here until we are in Haiti!  I've been busy packing away for the trip, preparing the homefront, and doing whatever else needed done before we leave...like setting up a mini-trick-or-treat to some friends' houses for Lily since she'll be gone next week.  She asked if she could bring her costume to Haiti and go trick-or-treating there, but I told her I didn't think they did that there and she agreed she would probably scare the people there anyway if she came door to door dressed as a pirate (hee, hee)!

I finished up the packing this morning to, unfortunately, find our luggage to be 13 lbs overweight.  Blah.  With almost all of those 80 lbs being supplies/donations, it is hard for me to figure out what to keep behind.  Whatever that ends up being, I will be sure to take it on our next trip, but it's still hard to choose.

For those of you praying for us, I thought I would give you a list of requests I can think of I would love to have covered in prayer.  By all means, this is not an exclusive list, so as you feel prompted to pray for anything, please do so.  I know we have a God who is going before us, who will be there with us, and will remain there behind us.  Thank you all for standing up with us through prayer and support.

• First and foremost, there is a tropical storm (Sandy) heading through the Caribbean as I type this.  The brunt of the storm should pass through Haiti today, tonight, and tomorrow and then go northeast on out to sea.  However, the winds may still be hanging around Florida on Friday evening and Saturday morning.  We fly into FL on Friday evening and on over to Haiti on Saturday morning.  Please pray for the weather to be calm enough our flights continue on as scheduled.
• My sister-in-law, Judi, is flying from South Dakota on American Airlines (we are on Spirit).  Please pray American is running all of their flights on schedule due to their recent employee "strike" issues.
• Travel sickness.  I typically get pretty sick when traveling so I medicate up to get through it without getting sick.  This typically works just fine because then I sleep a good deal of the trip as a side effect of the medication.  However, this time around, I need to be coherent due to Lily still needing me to function as her mom.  I plan on taking half doses of the meds and relying on prayer to get me through it.
• Layovers.  Please be praying for our layovers in FL to go well.  Our overnight layover will be at a hotel for 5 1/2ish hours.  Those hours need to be spent sleeping.  Pray for our shuttle to and from the hotel to go off without a hitch and for the little sleep we get to be profitable for our attitudes the next day.  Our return layover in FL is over 8 hours long.  Pray for patience for both Lily and myself and for the time to pass quickly as I attempt to entertain.
• Haiti airport.  I'm probably most nervous about the time frame of landing in Haiti until we are met by our director outside the airport.  The atmosphere in the airport can be pretty chaotic to say the least.  Lots of people, lots of pushing, lots of begging to help you with your luggage for a price.  I had envisioned me keeping Lily close to my side, holding her hand through it all--first to keep her safely with me and second to keep her from getting overwhelmed.  This wouldn't be too hard with having our backpacks and one suitcase to walk out with.  Well, the amount of supplies/donations has led me to two suitcases now so I'm just a little concerned as to how I'm going to be pushing both suitcases and keeping Lily's hand.  God is going before me and I know He will work this out just fine, but pray for me to let go of my nervousness over this little tiny step of the trip and just enjoy those first moments with my daughter on foreign soil.
• Meetings.  Our US Embassy appointment is at 7:30 a.m. on Monday.  This meeting has been as simple as a 1/2 hour wait for some, while others have been there 5-6 hours just waiting to be seen.  Please pray we get through quickly so we can enjoy more of our day outside of the walls of the Embassy.  Our court appointment with the Dean is either on Tuesday or Wednesday.  The same holds true for this appointment--it could be a very quick wait or it could be a long day.  Supposedly this waiting room is very dirty, very hot, and horrible bathroom conditions.  Please pray, again, that our wait will be fast so we can avoid needing to eat, drink, and not use the bathroom while there.  Please also pray for favor in both of our appointments.  I am a little nervous going to these appointments without Micah, so pray I will be able to answer all the questions they will ask me, have all the correct paperwork ready, and get through them with no problems.
• Sleeping arrangements.  This one seems silly to even type, but will you just pray that Lily will be able to get good amounts of sleep so she remains as cheerful as she can during the days.  There will be another team at the guesthouse where we will be staying so we will be sharing a bunk room with other women from that team.  I'm just praying her earlier bedtime will be honored by the rest of the members of the team there as I'm sure with the tile floors and such, it will be hard to control the loudness of the group.  We have at least one very early morning and I know how much Lily (and I, too, for that matter) need sleep to function best.  I'm also praying the only beds left by the time we arrive will not all be top bunks...for my sake-ha!
• Time with Nora.  Oh, pray for this sweet, sweet time we have to spend with her, friends!  No doubt she will not have a clue who we are.  She has never met Lily and she was only 2 months old when Micah and I were with her last.  Pray for her heart to be ready to accept our love for her.  Pray for Lily and her to bond as sisters instantly.  Pray for the communication to go beyond language barriers.  Pray for both Lily and I to leave with heavy hearts because we will be leaving part of us behind with Nora.  Pray for us to be able to witness her smiles, her laughter, her crawling, her playing, and most importantly her singing.  Yep, singing.  Our director once emailed us Nora likes to sing from sun up to sun down so Lily has this on her heart as the #1 thing she is excited for in this trip...the girl just wants to hear her sister sing...bless that, Lord.  I have to say, my heart could use a good ole' dose of Nora singing too.
• Photo opportunities.  Lastly, please be praying for our cameras and video capabilities to work great...including Skype.  We really want to be able to connect to Micah and the boys back home at least once while we are there.  Photos and videos will be what hold us over until our next trip and are a lifeline on days where you think you just can't do it anymore.  Please pray we get some wonderful shots of the three of us together for our memory books.  Also, I am very excited to be able to take photos of all the other children at the orphanage for their Mamas too.  We are from areas as far high as Canada and as far south as Florida, from the east coast to the west, but we are a common sisterhood at this point and we all love on each others' babies as if they were our own.  I truly feel as these kids are my nieces and nephews.  Please pray we get great shots of all of them so I can give that gift to the women who I have grown to love over the past year and a half.

Thanks again, friends, for praying over our trip.  I plan on finding moments to blog or post on facebook while we are there so long as the internet is up and running well for us.  If you are on facebook and haven't liked our adoption page yet, please do so to make sure you don't miss out on any updates.  You can follow the link at the top of the right-hand column to do that.

Blessings friends!

The Dreaded Question

You know those moments in a long van trip when the kids in the back seats are screaming, "Howww muuuch loooonger???" with a long, drawn out whine that completely makes it's way under the thick skin of a mom....(insert complete Mommy shutter and wince at the sound your ears just heard, eye-roll, and screams plea to just BE PATIENT!)  Yep, I thought you might know what I was talking about.  Well, to be honest and hopefully not rude, I wanted to say for the record in my personal perspective, that being asked the same question about our adoption process makes me feel much the same way under my thick adopting-mom skin.

Given this adoption "trip" is a long one, the number one thing people ask me is "How much longer will it be until she comes home?" or the slightly different question with the same preface "Why does it have to take soooo long?"  Just like I dread that question being asked by the kids in the back seats of the van, I have to admit I dread it in this adoption too.  With this second trip being on the calendar now, it seems this question is once again being asked even more frequently.  I am constantly having to tell people "No, this is not our "take-home" trip.  We still have an estimated 6-9 months more to go." which ALWAYS leads to...THE dreaded question above.  So, I've decided to take some time today to help explain why these questions are so dreaded and to give some alternative ideas for those of you who find yourself asking them to me or anyone else adopting.

• I can not make this trip any shorter.  I love my kids and I know they are not TRYING to be annoying when they ask me why the van trip is taking so long, but it really does become frustrating to hear that question when there is nothing I can do to make the trip any shorter.  Unless my van (with rust and all) can magically become a jet plane, there is no way I can make the trip any faster.  To hear the complaints along the ride makes me feel like I'm not driving well enough, that I am not meeting their needs, that I am making them suffer through something (even though I know the end result will be enjoyable), or that somehow I am responsible for their misery in the van.  It becomes very hard to detach my emotions from my responsibility.  As much as I would LOVE to have the trip shorter too, I am just the driver of the van, not the determiner of time it will take us to get there.  Now, similarly, I love my friends, family, and supporters in this adoption and I know you are certainly NOT trying to be annoying when you continually ask me about a time frame for our adoption, but just as it is hard to separate my responsibility from my feelings in a long van trip, it is hard here as well.  The truth is I have no control over the adoption "trip" I am on.  I am simply the person driving the van (saying yes I'll do this adoption) and I, unfortunately, do not have a magic potion that will make our journey become shorter.  When you continually ask me how much longer it will take to get Nora home, I find it hard to separate my responsibility from my feelings that I am the cause of all the misery on the journey because I said "yes".  I tend to feel as though I am not meeting your needs or simply disappointing you when I can not answer your question with what you really want to hear.  Which leads me to my next point...

• I wonder if your question is really reflecting your "truth".  In the van scenario, the kids are asking their questions for more information (How much longer will it take to get there?), but their "truth" is an undercurrent desire to just be done with the trip and enjoying their final destination.  To them, it's really not so much about what has to happen to get to their ending point (their question), but that they simply want to be AT the ending point...and quickly (their truth)!  When the trip is taking longer than what they deem acceptable, they become squirmy, restless, discontent and ready to get answers from someone.  That "someone" will undoubtedly be the person driving the vehicle because surely they will know exactly how to get them what they really want...not the details of the journey, but the enjoyment of the ending.  Truth be told, even if I gave them a GPS-like detailed read out of each and every turn it will take to get the van from point A to point B, it would not make their trip any shorter.  Unfortunately, these facts don't seem to appease the real desire--to just be done with the trip.  Instead of asking "How much longer?" or "Why aren't we there yet?" my kids should really just be saying, "Mom, I wish we were there already" or "I'm tired of being in this van.  I can't wait to be out."  That would be their truth and I would be taken out of the equation since I would not have to answer a question they really don't care much about anyway.  And so it is with our adoption.  I'm doubtful, at least,  you really want to know the detailed answer to the question of "why does it take this long" when you ask it (your question), but instead you are really just trying to express your desire to see us at the end (your truth).  Because it is taking a long time, however, you are getting squirmy and restless with your unmet desires to have us done with the adoption and are trying to get answers from someone in the driver seat of the adoption (which happens to be me).  Also, like the van example, if I answered your question with a GPS-like answer with all the twists and turns and narrow pathways our adoption has to take to get to the end (so many it would make your head spin), it would not make the time of the trip go by any faster.  The fact is there IS a reason this adoption takes this long.  The process is grueling--not just for us, but for our orphanage director and lawyer doing all the work on the other end.  It is mind-boggling, but knowing all of that does not make the "trip" any shorter.  This all leads me to believe, in my opinion, when you ask me your question:"why does it take this long?" the answer (that won't make the trip any quicker) is not really what you are looking for.  Instead, you really wanted me to know your truth: you want the adoption to be done for us (or maybe for themselves) so we could be enjoying the end of it.  Yes???  So, if you are a person known for asking this question to an adoptive family, I would advise to ask yourself a simple question first...what are you really wanting when you ask "How much longer" or "Why does it have to take this long"?  Do you really want to know all the details of the trip or do you just want to tell me you wish we were at the ending point of the trip?  If your answer is the former, I would love to give you more details of the this adoption as long as you know that by finding them out, it will not make things go quicker--it will just make you understand it better (which I would truly LOVE for more people to have because it makes the miracle of adoption so much more clear).  If your answer is the latter, I would kindly ask you to rephrase your question to reflect your real intentions--your truth.  Perhaps instead of asking "How much longer?", you could ask, "How can I best be of help to you during the wait?" or "What new things have you been learning about Nora recently?" or "I sure wish I could make this time go faster for you, but I know I can't.  Is there anything you want covered in prayer?"  Those kind of questions speak your truth--your heart--your care for me and this adoption--and would do wonders for my heart.

• We don't have an ending time.  In a van ride, I could at least tell the kids what time we were expected to arrive at the final destination. I could say, "It should be 4:45 p.m. when we park the van for good", but, again, it still would not make the actual time in the van go quicker.  The knowledge of a concrete ending time may make the trip "feel" quicker, but it won't make the tires turn any faster.  In our adoption, unfortunately, we will not know what that "4:45 p.m." will be until the very, very end of the trip.  When you ask me how much longer it will be, it reaffirms something I see as a frustration of this process...it reaffirms that I can not answer your question...that I simply do not know when the end will be here.  That is a very hard reality in any adoption.  This does not make me feel encouraged or sympathized with, which I would bet was your original goal.  We do have some best case scenario time frames (6-9 months), but nothing that can give a stamped day, hour, or minute of when Nora will be on US soil or in our own home.  I encourage you to think about this scenario from my perspective for a moment: how would you feel if you were continually asked the same question you had no answer for (nor could you have an answer for)?  For example, what if every day or several times a day you were asked when your phone will ring.  It's something you know will happen at some point, but you would never be able to really answer that question because it is impossible to actually know.  After a while, you would probably just get tired, frustrated and a wee bit cranky when the next person asked, "Hey, when is that phone of yours going to ring?  I, too, tend to get tired, frustrated, and a wee bit cranky when faced with the same question of how long it will take to get Nora home because I just don't have the answer.  I regret that anyone has to be the person at the other end of my crankiness...that is not my desire at all.  So, instead of asking me a question I can not answer, I would encourage you to ask questions I CAN answer.  Questions I can answer will go a long way to making me feel like I have the ability to be involved in an ongoing, positive, and uplifting conversation about our adoption.  Questions I can answer could be focused on anything in the past or the present, but not in the future.  I, unfortunately, can not predict the future for this adoption trip no matter how much I would love to.

• I need others to be patient too.  Lastly, do you remember the final part of my initial response to the kids in the van scenario?  It was a scream plea to just BE PATIENT!  When you are trapped in a van for a long period of time with kids questioning each minute when this ordeal will be over, it proves they are not having patience.  One of the traits, if you will, we adoptive parents have been labeled with by others who have yet to adopt is that we must be incredibly patient to go through this process.  To some degree this is true, however, there are also plenty of moments in the past year where "patient" could have been replaced with "manic" in my book.  The truth is we do have to be patient as we wait for Nora to come home, but we don't have to be the ONLY ones having patience.  The long time frames in a van would be oh so much more smooth if the kids were being just as patient as the driver, don't you think?!?  The long time frames in an adoption would be smoother, too, if we were ALL willing to shoot for the same level of patience as the adoptive parents are, for whatever reason, expected to have.  Folks, always being questioned of an end not yet in sight by people acting more impatient than myself is not going to do a whole lot to help my own patience level...it might challenge it even more, but believe me, the last thing I need added to my plate right now is another reason to practice patience-ha!  Please do me a favor and practice being patient as you await WITH me for the answer to your question.  Come up with other things to do WITH me during the trip instead of focusing your questions on an end I do not know.  In van rides, for example, our family likes to play games like "I Spy", sing songs, or even watch movies to pass the time of the trip.  Those things do not speed the trip up necessarily, but they do make the trip more enjoyable.  Doing things with me along the trip to pass the time will be much more supportive than focusing on the unknowns or an end that is not in sight yet.

Does all of this make sense?  I know your hearts, friends, are meant to be supportive and sympathetic to me when you ask the "dreaded question" but I hope with this post, you will understand why I dread that question as well as how to better express your care to me during this time.  And, as I said above, if it is the details of the trip you actually want to know--feel free to ask me when we have enough time for me to tell you all about it.  It would take time, but I could talk your ear off and enjoy every moment of it...just ask my poor hubby.  Thank you, friends, for caring for me.  Thank you for caring about Nora.  Thank you for talking to me about our adoption.  I am sorry if you have ever had to suffer the consequences of my frustration with your question of how much longer it will take to get her here...may grace abound on each of our ends of that question, eh!?!  Blessings.

**I encourage those who have read this post to see my updated answer towards this question posted on February 13, 2013.  Here is a link to that post. Thank you!**

We are heading to Haiti!

In 11 days I will be joined by my ever-lovely daughter, Lily, and my just as lovely sister-in-law, Judi, on a path to Haiti...and Nora!  YAY!  Lily and I will fly out of Detroit and have an overnight in a hotel in Florida before heading on to Haiti in the morning.  Judi will fly out of  South Dakota and also (unfortunately) have an overnight in the airport before also flying into Haiti in the morning, arriving just an hour before us.  We were really hoping to connect to one another state-side and go in together, but it just wasn't working out.  We will meet in Port-Au-Prince and begin our time together there.  Up the mountain we will drive and then the moment I've been waiting 11 months for...getting Nora back into my arms.

Latest photo of Nora--October 12th

Did you know we serve an amazing God?  We do.  I am continually reminded throughout this adoption
that God is in control and is always working the details out behind the scenes.  He is also a God who nudges our spirits in a way I am so incredibly thankful for.  Let me just say it PAYS to listen and obey those nudges!!!!  I know the fact we are traveling to Haiti in October now instead of November is a miracle.  I know the back-story to how that came to be is even more miraculous and I just HAD to share it so God could get so much of the credit here.

We had been sent an email by our orphanage director several weeks back (before we got the IBESR director's signature) that gave us some details of things that needed to happen before we could travel to Haiti.  She had said once we got the IBESR director's signature, we could schedule our Embassy appointment, but that other things needed to happen in Parquet before our other appointment to see the Dean so we should just wait to hear from her before scheduling.  So, we waited.  We heard about the IBESR director's signature and waited some more.  Nothing.  There are moments when it is very difficult to hear nothing.  Even a "no, don't schedule anything yet" feels better than '"nothing".  Despite that, there are moments in this adoption where I've felt the need to fight this battle by inquiring and inquiring and inquiring about more information while there are other times where I have felt the need to fight this battle by staying quiet, at peace, and with the control in God's hands.  There was something about that time frame of a few weeks where I was okay with just not asking more questions even though we felt as if we were completely confused and knew nothing.

Then came this past Sunday morning.  I was simply sitting in church when I had this momentary thought/panic race through my brain: "What if our director is waiting for us to schedule the appointment while I'm waiting for her email to tell me it's okay to schedule the appointment?  What if all along, she meant for me to ask the Embassy for the appointment time since we got the last signature we needed, but I never understood her email to say that and have been waiting this whole time for nothing?  Ahhh!"  That thought really came out of the blue...I hadn't been thinking of our adoption in those moments or anything.  So, when I got home from church I decided to risk sounding "nagging" and emailed our director just to double check that we were indeed supposed to still be waiting on her to give us the green light.  At 10:30 Sunday night, I finally got a response back from her.  It read, "Angie, I think you did not receive my e-mail yesterday telling you to write USCIS for the appointment. You can now."

What!?!  Can you even believe it!?!  No, we never got an email from Rachel the day before and would have never even known she sent one.  If God had not put that thought in my head at church we would have never known we had the green light to ask for our appointment and could have wasted days and days for nothing.  Thank You, Jesus, for Your ever-present care in our lives.  Thank You for knowing the details we are unaware of and using Your power to make us aware of them.  Thank You for putting a spirit inside of us that is connected to You.  Who knows how long our process would have been delayed if I would not have sent that email, but because of the thought God put in my head, we were only delayed one day.  He is so faithful!

The story just gets better as I sent the email on Monday morning around 8 a.m. to the US Embassy in Haiti.  They send an automated email back to you right away saying it could take up to 7 days for a response.  I had heard from many the response typically comes back within 2-3 days and that some had even gotten a response by the end of the day.  I wasn't holding my breath for that.  I went on with my day and wouldn't you know it, by NOON I had a response from them!  I had put in my "hopeful" request for the dates of October 29, 30 or 31 knowing full well that some are getting scheduled a month out from the dates they request, but my appointment was granted for Monday, October 29th at 7:30 a.m.  WooHoo!!!  God is so good!  It is critical to get this trip in as soon as possible because our adoption process is basically held up until the appointments of this trip are done.  Having this happen so quickly is such a God-send!  It keeps us moving in the right direction at the quickest speed possible.

Just for the icing on the cake...God made it possible for us to fly to Haiti while the flight prices were AWESOME!  The very next week they jumped up so we will be flying without the huge extra burden of high ticket prices...hallelujah!

So, friends, in EVERY detail of our lives, there is a God who cares about us and desires to give us good things.  There is a God who is one step (or ten thousand steps for all we know) ahead of us and He is crafting the amazing story of our lives.  There is a God who uses everything--whether delays or quickness--to bring Him glory and to bring us back to Him.  There is a God who even speaks to us so we can be aware of what He already knows.  It is awesome to be a part of it all.  And with that, friends, I need to sign off of here and get packing!  I've got 11 days to figure out how to fit all the supplies I want to bring into one 40 pound suitcase...eek!

Please be praying for Lily, Judi, and myself as we prepare to head to Haiti.  This is Lily and Judi's first trip to Haiti and I have no doubt that God is wanting to speak to their hearts in ways we haven''t even thought of yet.  Pray also for Nora's heart to be prepared for our time together.  Of course I want my own bonding with Nora to go smoothly while we are there, but my heart's desire on this trip is for the incredible bond of sisterhood to begin in amazing ways for Lily and Nora.  I get choked up just thinking of the two of them together.  I will update again (hopefully) as we get even closer to our fly date and then will (again, hopefully) be able to blog a bit from Haiti to share how things are going.  Thank you, friends, for all your support and prayers!

A Household of Praise

Yesterday we got an email from our orphanage director letting us know the IBESR director signed off on our dossier, our lawyer was getting it to her today, and she would be taking it onward in the process--YAY!!!!  Over the next several weeks we will be in the beginning stages of Parquet Court...the next "stage" of this process.  Then we will make our second trip down to Haiti to see the Dean in courts and to file our I600 with the Embassy to continue the visa process.  We are hoping/praying for that trip to be in November.  It feels SOOO good to say we are D.O.N.E. with IBESR after being in there for 8 months (until the last few days when we get our final sign off paper to leave the country).  I spent moments off and on yesterday praising God for this movement and for answering my prayers that He would go before our director yesterday and give us answers.  Even if the answers would have been "we were still stuck there", it would have at least been an answer and I still would have been thankful...however, having that answer be wonderful news made that answer to prayer even sweeter!  I know I'm not the only one around this house spending time praising God either!

For our 6 year old, Lily, her time of waiting to get Nora in her arms will be a little less than the boys.  She is eagerly waiting for our trip *hopefully* in November because she will be joining me.  We have had many talks over the last few months about our time in Haiti--trying to best prepare her for the experience.  She has been practicing being polite to people she may not know when they ask her a question or give her a compliment because she tends to be very shy in those situations and we don't want that to come across as being rude.  She got to join me the other night for the African Children's Choir concert at our church and asked many questions about why she couldn't understand what they were saying all of the time.  I explained this is much of what it will be like in Haiti because they will be speaking a different language than us, just like the choir was, and we will not always be able to understand them.  Also, the other day as Lily ran in the front door from getting off the bus I said, "Hello, Lily!!!!"  She responded, "Bonjour, Mommy!"  It made me smile.  Yes, she is getting ready as best as she can.

Another thing I found recently while cleaning in her room makes me know Lily is ready for this upcoming trip.  It is her Prayer Journal.  This summer she participated in a summer art camp for a week where she brought home a blank booklet she made.  On the front was written "My Prayer Journal".  I never knew she had taken time since then to write on the pages of this booklet, but I was so beyond blessed to find it the other day and read through all of her prayers.  She is ready for this trip not because her bags are packed, her Creole has been practiced or because she is excited to see the mountains, but because God has a hold of her heart and she has a spirit ready for what all God wants to teach her on this trip.  She has experienced first hand in her young life what it means to be patient, to praise God, to reveal her deepest heart's desire to Him, and to rely on Him for everything.  She is ready and I am blessed to have her as a travel partner.  I am also blessed to know that as I am praising God around this house, I am not the only one...

Translation: Thank you God.  I love you so much.

Translation: God loves me in His heart!

Translation: God you are my Savior.  I love you God and I am yours.

Translation: I am thanking you for my heart and your's.

Translation: Thank you God for the wonderful things that you have given to me.

Translation: You are the King.  You are good.  You are the great and I love you God because you are that!

Translation: You are great! (love how she spelled it right but crossed it out like it was wrong-hee, hee)

Translation: You are awesome!

Translation: You are wonderful!

Lily, sweetheart, you bless me...and you BLESS GOD with your praises and adoration to Him.  I can't wait to get to Haiti with you and have you share that heart with your sister!

2 Inches

2 inches.

That's it.  2 inches.  That's all it took to change my perspective completely.

My husband has always found me attractive in heels.  Not that he doesn't find me attractive in flats, but heels, for whatever reason, turns his head a little quicker.  I'm good with that.  What I'm still not good with is the fact that heels are NOT comfortable.  Heels, honestly, are the death of me.  I would prefer to be in tennis shoes, slippers, or some sort of other flat shoe any day, any hour, any minute.  But because I love my man and, to be quite honest, because there is something inside me that really does feel more feminine when I slip my feet into a pair of heels, I occasionally can be found wearing them.  When I do wear them, as much as they cause me physical pain in my feet and back, I find that I totally dig my new perspective of everything around me.

If you don't know me personally, I would be what the world would call a "short" person.  Some say "vertically challenged" to try to be more politically correct, but I'm good with "short".  On a great day I'm 5 foot 2 inches.  There are moments in life where being that short is really frustrating--like in a crowd of people, when doing group hugs, trying to reach things in tall cupboards, or slow dancing.  There are also moments in life when being that short is awesome--like in an airplane seat, trying to squeeze through the opening of the child's twirly slide at the park to save your petrified child, or when sleeping in a tent while camping.  All together, I am totally fine with being the height I am...I have no deep pain associated with my "challenge".  However, it is simply amazing what putting on a pair of 2 inch heels can do to a person.

One Sunday, I put on a newer pair of black sandal heels and headed out the door.  As I wobbled my way through the front doors of church, I shook the greeters hands and noticed I was actually almost eye-level with the female greeter.  Weird, yet refreshing.  When I made my way to the mailboxes I noticed I didn't have to reach quite so high to grab our mail.  Nice.  When we got to our places (no, they are not "assigned" even though we navigate to them each Sunday), I stood next to my man and realized I could see the tops of his shoulders.  Interesting.  Then we held hands...my arm wasn't bent to reach up to meet his.  So relaxing.  I could even see the stage up front without having to strategically aline myself to peer through the openings in the crowd.  Wonderful.  It didn't stop at church either.  After church I had to run into the store super fast to grab some last minute needs for lunch.  As I grabbed the shopping cart handle I noticed it felt so far away from me.  Odd.  Then I looked up and everything seemed smaller.  Odd, again.  And then I began to push the cart...wow, it was so much easier...I had more force on that baby from a taller angle.  Amazing!  Who the heck knew that being a simple 2 inches taller would completely change the way I looked at and experienced everything around me.

2 inches.  It really can make that much of a difference.  Our church is doing a series right now on a book/primer called The Tangible Kingdom by Matt Smay and Hugh Halter.  It is an 8 week series challenging all of us to really see what Christ meant the "church" to look like, act like, serve like.  It is about being a missional community...a missional Christian.  It has been very eye-opening, challenging, and freeing in several ways already and we are only on week 2.  To truly make these concepts come to life, many of us have committed to meeting in small groups to discuss the questions posed and the activities they encourage us to do.  It is affirming the idea that what we hear and learn is so much better understood when action is put behind it.

A few weeks ago the sermon being preached from this book was discussing our view of other people around us.  Unfortunately, we tend to be prideful in ways we don't always recognize on our own and we need the Holy Spirit to speak through others to open our eyes to the ways we are sinning.  This would be one of those times for me.  I needed that sermon.  In summary, it was explained that Jesus hung out with sinners, the "least of these", aliens (foreigners), and/or tax collectors not because he felt sorry for them or wanted to help them out because he was so much better than them, but because he loved them and viewed them to be a creation of God that has impeccable honor.  That those labeled in society as "sinners" were the same as anyone else in God's eyes--lost people who He miraculously made to be holy, dearly loved, and incredibly important to the Kingdom.  That His sacrifice of life on the cross and resurrection out of hell was not just for me, but for them too.  I was convicted deeply...I was not coming from the same perspective.

It's hard to admit when you are wrong.  When you are prideful.  When you are viewing yourself better than another person.  For what it's worth, I'm openly admitting it here because I have already admitted to my Father in Heaven and He has forgiven me and I've found freedom from that sin.  I have already absolutely loved being in the mindset Christ has always wanted me to be in.  I view people differently now.  I see them through the eyes of Christ in a way I never had before.  When I'm shopping, I look at people who used to scare me with this huge desire to let them know they are so loved and so highly valued instead.  I see someone choosing to live a different lifestyle than I and instead of condemning them in my head, I find something positive about their choices and commend them for that.  Instead of seeing someone who is being rude to someone else and just wanting to hit them over the head, I want to speak Truth into their souls and watch God's power do a work in their attitude.  I love it...it is refreshing and freeing.  I don't have to be so nervous or scared or put-off because of their differences from me...I can love them for the beautiful creation God made them to be and help them see that in themselves.

This new perspective has been refreshing just like my new perspective was when wearing my 2 inch heels that Sunday.  However, just like wearing 2 inch heels causes some pain and has sacrifices that come along with it (can I hear an "Amen", sisters?), so does taking on a new perspective with the people around you.  It gets you out of your comfort zone and forces you to approach people you would have not been caught dead with before.  It takes some guts to even smile at a person who might have sent shivers down your spine a day earlier.  It doesn't come naturally or easily necessarily--it takes work and some pain, but those also make us grow stronger.  Whenever Micah hears me complain about how much wearing heels hurts my feet and back he always says (half jokingly), "You know you just need to wear them everyday so your body becomes stronger and more used to using the muscles it takes to stand that way."  Although that typically gets an eye roll from me, there probably is some truth to that statement.  When you put yourself in a position that is not something you are used to daily, your body does have to strengthen new parts to help in the transition.  Same is true for a mental shift...a soul shift...a heart shift.  It takes time and uncomfortableness at first, but the efforts are worth the result.

So, the lesson was heard, but it was up to me to put it into practice.  In one of the other sermons spoken for this series, it was also mentioned that much of Jesus' ministry happened "on the way" to a place or event.  It was another challenge to be aware of what was going on around you when you are on your way to scheduled events on your calendar.  Between this concept and the concept to view others with their true God-given value attached to their faces, I knew exactly what I needed to do.  Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I take my second-born to preschool.  On the way I pass a factory where a group of workers are taking their lunch break outside.  These folks scared me.  I would literally feel a squirmy feeling in my stomach when we would pass by (insert ashamed feeling).  I do not know them.  I do not know their names, where they live, what they enjoy doing, what they believe, how many children they are feeding with the money from their job, or even if they have a car.  I labeled them as less than me and somewhat "scarey" because they had grumpy, dirty faces, raggedy clothes, and were typically smoking (gasp...the horror of my thoughts--I know, I know.)  The Monday after the sermon, however, I drove by like normal and it simply "clicked".  These precious people were "on my way" to my scheduled event.  These precious people were incredibly important to God and His Kingdom.  These precious people were not scuzzy--they were dirty, tired, tattered and torn because they were WORKING HARD in that factory day in and day out.  How sinful, prideful, horrible of me to view them as anything less.  I asked God to forgive me right then and there and the freedom, love, and smile that came upon my face were certainly His grace and mercy washing over me.  I knew what I needed to do.

I kept driving by that factory for a week or so and each time I drove by I viewed my new found "friends" in a whole different way.  I would try to search out a face as I drove by and simply smile at that person.  I would pray for God to grant them a great day at work and to bless their efforts.  I would thank Him for opening my eyes and for taking away the nervous feelings in my stomach.  I thanked Him for replacing those feelings with a desire to somehow tell these precious people how much they are loved.  This week I tried to do that in a more tangible way.  I called the office of the factory and asked the secretary about how many people would be in there on a given lunch break time.  80-100.  80-100 men and women who I could bless in a simple way.  WooHoo!  I gathered my supplies and began baking cookies.  I finished the last batch up at 1 a.m.  Yes, on one hand, baking cookies is an easy way to show another you appreciate them, but on the other hand, at 1 a.m. when I was dead tired of baking and just wanted to be getting precious sleep before my toddler would come to my bed at 6:30 a.m., I realized that no matter what you do, telling another person they are loved DOES take work.

The next morning, I had the joy of delivering over 120 cookies to that factory.  I included a note that told them all how much I appreciated the hard work and dedication they were putting into their job and that I hoped these cookies would simply let them know they were appreciated.  I also told them I was praying God would bless the work of their hands in many ways.  I signed it with just my first name.  I will never probably know the impact of that blessing, but that was not the point.  The point was in the baking and delivering of those cookies, God blessed me already and I didn't need their approvals to feel good.  I felt good because I knew I had done just what God had told me to do.  My favorite part was hearing the one sort of flabbergasted question the secretary asked me as I placed plate after plate of cookies on the desk in front of her..."So....do you just love to bake or something?"  My answer, "Nope, not really.  I just wanted to let everyone know they are appreciated."  I left that poor woman completely confused and totally blessed, I think, as she timidly thanked me as I headed out the door.  L.o.v.e.d. it!

So, 2 inches, friends.  2 inches completely changed my perspective when I slipped on those heels AND when I shifted my heart-focus back to what Jesus has always desired it to be.  Both were a bit painful but the view afterwards was breathtakingly new, freeing, and exciting to be a part of.  I hope to leave you here with the challenge to look around you and decipher what areas in your life, what thoughts, what prayers, what relationships, what sinfulness needs a 2 inch shift from you today.  When you discover where that 2 inch shift needs to happen, I challenge you further by asking you to DO something about it.  Put on those heels no matter how painful it may be at first.  Seek that forgiveness, bake those cookies, smile at that person so different from you, pray that prayer for the homeless person you just passed, or do whatever it is God is speaking into your heart of hearts.  If your experience turns out anything like mine, you'll be blessed you did it and you won't want to ever go back.